Sad Commentary

What a sad commentary this story is on our societal values.

Hundreds of people, one after the other, stepped on the 34-year-old store employee in an effort to get the "best deal". Are you kidding me? What deal is so important that it's worth lining up 9 hours before opening, standing in a crowd of thousands, breaking doors, and trampling on another human, ultimately taking his life?

I consider myself to be quite the sale shopper but nothing, absolutely nothing, is worth that to me. I don't even venture near a retail store the day after Thanksgiving, probably because I don't have the right mentality.

Life is valuable....prices are not...things are not. Mob mentality is frightening. I heard someone say once "a person is smart; people are dumb." I think that fits here.

If only we'd learn to view life as God does. Every single one of us is loved by God, from conception to their natural, appointed death.

Wrap-Up

I generally take far more pictures on holidays than this but I was so into my own game of Uno Spin that I got distracted. Generally my mom is not a game player, unless it's Tripoley but she joined us for this game and we laughed so hard. Edward, Steve, and the kiddos had great fun with the Wii games (a few pics below).

Every year I use name cards which I've thoroughly done in the spirit of the day. But this year I added something I thought would be really fun but was a bit uncertain anyone else would. On each card I had at "would you rather" question that was different for all. I thought it would be a great conversation piece and it turns out I was right. An example is "would you rather be hairy all over or completely bald?" Some of the answers were hilarious. The great thing is that today my mom came over to help with Christmas decorations and she was still mulling over one particularly intriguing answer. The end result is exactly what I'd hoped! I guess the point is that there is always more to learn about people, even those in your own family.

It's so great to be in a house filled with laughter, with familiarity, and with love. I wish my little brother Craig and his wife, Kayrene could have made it. The only thing missing is actually not a thing but rather a person...my dad. I'll never completely get over it. I can do life but it's just not the same.

Approved sibling fighting:


Erica was pretty excited - she KO'd Uncle Steve:

Thanksgiving Top 10

The other day I heard that being thankful makes a person healthier and journaling about thankfulness is better yet. Now, I don't know how they (the experts) prove or test that but I think they are on to something. In Colossians 3:15 God commands us to be thankful. After telling us to let Christ rule in our hearts and that we're called to peace there is a stand alone sentence (at least in the NIV). And be thankful. So, in the spirit of the holiday I took some time in my journaling this morning to create a top 10. Here they are:

1. Christ - his shed blood and salvation.
2. Steve - a Godly husband who loves me as Christ loves the church.
3. Mom and Dad - Godly parents who taught me at an early age the value and importance of a relationship with Christ and laid solid foundations (for clarification of why that is critical, see Matthew 7:24-27).
4. Siblings - I learned to socialize at an early age and that life is not all about me. They are also those who know the heartache and feelings of loss within the family unit and joy over the great things. They understand.
5. Erica & Peter - both of these darlings were born at crucial times in my life. For a girl who will never have a child of her own, these two are angels in disguise. As I type this I'm watching Erica and Steve play Wii and am reminded it was 18 1/2 years ago when I found out I'd never have a child of my own. Erica was 3 months old.
6. Spiritual family & friends - those who love and encourage me on the path of sanctification and accountability.
7. A place of ministry. What an honor to be in service for the King. Could there be a better boss?
8. A home. I do not take this for granted. Much of the world doesn't have this luxury and God has really taught me over the last year that it is just a tool for Him to use. In the meantime I get the pleasure of living in it.
9. Health. This one I definitely don't take for granted. I have had seasons (aka years) where I did not have this. With the exception of my annual physical and dental cleanings, I have only been to the doctor once this year. What a huge praise!
10. Job(s). Actually, the ability to work and make a living. It's all a gift from God.

And so many more to be sure but the title is "top 10" so continuing on would make that a lie.

I have enough. More than enough.

Psalm 100: A psalm for giving thanks: Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Two Funny Conversations

I so love Peter and Erica. Today I got to spend the morning with Peter. While his exuberance is sometimes overwhelming, generally I love being around such energy and a carefree spirit. I feel free to be impulsive and spontaneous. Mostly he plays right off me but once in a while he zings me with a doozy. Today was such a day.

He looked at me and said, "Aunt Julie, you are something else!"

He didn't say what that something else was but I think we both knew he meant I was odd.

Yesterday I was telling a friend of mine about a conversation Steve and I had earlier that morning. After I told her what was said, I remarked, "you know, if something ever happened to Steve, I could never get married again because I'm so weird and nobody would ever understand it."

She replied, "and this is a new revelation to you?"

Filled With Power

Today was amazing. I've known for a couple of months that I would speak to the MOPS group this morning. However, as is always the case, I grew increasingly insecure the closer it got. As recently as last night I sat on the floor in my bedroom telling God I just couldn't do it and contemplating how I could best wiggle out of it. His answer was a firm "you can't. Don't even think about it."

This morning I thought back to the sermon from 2 weeks ago where my pastor talked about what power we have in Christ. One of the things he talked about is that we have the power to teach and disciple. I stopped what I was doing and said "God, you've given me this power. It's in you. This is not about me, not about my insecurity. It's all in you. Satan has no control or part in this. Give me your confidence."

And He did. I have never felt such power, such control. It was the most amazing experience. The best part is that I can't take one bit of credit which is exactly how it should be. I prepared, I showed up, but God did the rest. I was calm, cool, and collected. I didn't say exactly what I had planned but just went with the prompting of the Spirit.

But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The truth. Plain and simple.

In A Play

I'm pretty excited to be in a Christmas musical this year. I was supposed to have a very, very small part in it last year but as you might recall I had that weird unknown problem with my lip and required immediate surgery so I missed out. I called it my freak face. I still have some discomfort associated with my lip even though I've seen the surgeon for 2 follow up visits. He's assured me I will regain full feeling but I'm no longer convinced that's true since it's been a year. Mostly I don't notice it but occasionally I am keenly aware of the numbness and small bump that still exists. And sometimes I struggle with angioedema (a fancy medical term for rapid swelling). I guess it's not so bad. In the big scheme of things though, it could be far worse.

But the point of the post is that I was offered a part again this year but I had to promise no weird lip abnormalities because while it's a small part, the play wouldn't be the same without it. I am SO excited! I've got a few songs to learn too and really, who knows the 2nd and 3rd verses of "We Gather Together" anyway? You'll soon be able to count me among the 12 others who do know it.

I was telling a friend about this exciting venture and here's what she said in an email:

Congratulations! Break a leg - or should I write "pop a lip?"

HILARIOUS!!

Completely Out Of Sync

Have you ever had one of those days when you're completely out of sync with someone you're really close to and with whom you're generally on the same page? Steve and I had one of those days yesterday. It was a day filled with "what?", "where?", and just plain "huh?" Here's an example...he called me around 11 a.m. and it went like this:

S: Do you want to meet with XX (names removed, obviously) Friday at 4 in Laurel?

J: I'm usually still at work at 4.

S: I know.

J: Oh. You want me to take the day off?

S: No.

J: Can we do a different time?

S: No, that's when they can do it. Maybe I'll see if they can do Saturday.

J: No, that doesn't work for us. Did you remember we already have plans that night with YY?

S: Yeah. What time is that (clearly he did not remember)?

J: 6:00...as in we need to be there by 6. Not you on your way or picking me up at 6.

S: This won't take that long.

J: Okay. So what about this appointment?

S: Well you don't have to be there. Maybe I can find someone else. (Julie's note: Steve never meets with a woman alone, not even in public. He'll meet in his office if other staff members are around but otherwise he has me tag along for protection.)

J: Isn't her husband coming?

S: Yes.

long pause...

S: It's okay, you don't need to be there. I'll just go ahead.

J: Alright, then. See you later.

At lunch I told him how very confused I was. He made an appointment at a time when he knew I worked, didn't want me to take the day off, and I didn't even need to be there. Why the heck did he call me then? The answer was "that's when they can do it because he gets off at 3:30." WHAT?!? Doesn't a meeting require a time when BOTH parties can be there? And he knew I would be working? And I didn't need to be there? I'm still very confused.

I'm glad that day is over. It didn't get any better from there.

Losing A Friend

I debated whether or not to even post about this. In the end I decided to do so because most of us have probably been in this spot and it hurts so we need encouragement.

I lost a friend recently. I will purposely withhold some details because I do not want to dishonor her or the friendship we had. But it's worthy of reflection. This wasn't just an acquaintance or friendship in passing. This was one of those relationships that comes with a spiritual connection. The kind where you hold each other accountable, build each other up in Christ, and walk through fire together. One where you can can call each other on the carpet, say the hard things that need to be said but at the end of if you're still friends because it's all done in love. And now it's gone.

A couple months ago I began sensing something was different so a month ago I called and asked what was up. She just didn't want to be my friend anymore, well kind of. She didn't feel like she could trust me with her stuff anymore because we aren't on the same page (her perception). I don't know when this happened and the hardest thing is that I had no idea what I had done. And she wouldn't tell me. Still hasn't. It is so unlike her, so unlike our relationship that this went un-discussed, yet there it was. She called it "a season of life".

Amazingly enough I held it together on the phone. After the conversation was over I was able to sit down and cry. I grieved. No matter why, this is still a huge loss and grief is appropriate. The truth is, I can't force someone to be my friend, nor would I want to.

The greatest sadness is that this type of relationship doesn't come easily or quickly. It takes time to build the trust which allows such intimacy. And in this place of ministry life, I don't have the same options I once did when it comes to making friends.

But ultimately through all this I am fine. Some things I can't control in life. Some times I just have to roll with the punches and trust that God is in the middle of it even though I don't get it. Maybe it's a season He wants to pull me out of and closer to Him alone. Maybe it's a season of isolation. Or maybe He's doing something in her life that requires her to be alone.

Down the road we may intertwine again. We may not. I still love her and want the best for her. I still see her and talk to her on the phone. But I now withhold those deepest parts of my soul.

And it hurts. It's okay and this too shall pass but it hurts.

Movie Review (of sorts)

This weekend I violated one of my big rules about movies. We went to a movie on opening weekend. I generally despise it because the theater is packed, you have to be there ultra-early for a decent seat, and the line to buy tickets is horrendous. (Yes, I know I can buy online but paying someone a "convenience fee" to do so is maddening. Credit card fees are a cost of doing business and passing that on under the guise of convenience fees to the customer is ridiculous. It certainly isn't convenient for me to pay extra.)

But this time it was different. We opted for the first showing and left about 30 minutes before it started. Amazingly, there was hardly any line and we were in good seats 15 minutes before it started.

We went to Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond. If you're a Bond fan, I recommend this one to you. It's typically over-the-top-Bond but that's just how those movies are and so it is what it is. But it's got lots of action and an unexpected event so all in all, it was rather enjoyable.

I So Totally Underestimated God

A couple of weeks ago I posted about a family we ministered to and how they told us they would visit our church when she was better. I remarked how skeptical I was at that statement. A few days after that something else happened that really led me to believe we'd never see this family in church.

But today when we arrived, they were there--the entire family! While I may have had reason to doubt a fellow human, I had no reason whatsoever to doubt what God was doing in their lives. Clearly He was up to something or we never would have had the chance to minister to them. I completely underestimated God.

Surely I should know better. I learned a big lesson at church today and while the worship music and sermon were fantastic, the greater lesson came from this particular event.

I'm so glad God doesn't think as small as I do. He's limitless whereas I frequently limit myself. If only I'd tap deeper into the great power He's given me.

Funny Morning Conversation

This morning Steve got up bright and early to depart to go hunting with a friend at 6 a.m. But Tra's house lost power so he didn't show up until shortly after 7...about 20 minutes after Steve called him. It turned out to be a good thing for me because I wouldn't have been up at 6 to hear this funny conversation. I sat in the recliner, covered in blankets for my usual don't-bug-me-as-I-wake-up sitting ritual.

Here's the conversation:

Steve: Do you have something to use to attach the tag?

Tra: No.

Steve: Got a knife?

Tra: No.

Steve disappeared briefly retrieve these items.

Steve: You have gloves?

Tra: Just these (indicated by the show of a keep the hands warm kind of glove).

Steve: No, gloves to use while you gut it--unless you want to use those.

Tra: No.

Steve: Okay, I've got some surgical gloves.

Tra: What kind of weird freak are you?

Julie (coming out of my sleep coma): If he puts on the glove and snaps the bottom, you might want to run.

Steve: Oh, I've got the vaseline too.

Tra: Julie, I'm not going hunting with Steve after all.

Now that's funny stuff!

Then there was some brief discussion about when you have to show your weapon and when you can conceal it. Steve knows this stuff since he spent 11 years enforcing the law and all. And out the door they went. My Rugged-Handsome-Camo-Wearing Marine and his Elmer-Fudd-Hat-Wearing Navy comrade. I'm sure it will be a fun, albeit interesting morning!

Happy Belated Birthday & Happy Veterans Day

I'm thoroughly disgusted with myself today. Not as much as I could be because I didn't forget that yesterday was the 233rd birthday of the United States Marine Corps but because I got so pre-occupied I neglected to mention it in a post.

And, for the first time I didn't get Steve a birthday present. I feel pretty bad about that too. The only small consolation is I told him Happy Birthday, for whatever that's worth.

The Marines are so unlike any other branch of the service and while I have great respect for all of them, the Marine Corps holds a special place in my heart. When you're a Marine, it is who you are to the core of your being, not something you do. There is a peculiar band that holds this elite group together and I feel so privileged to have been able to watch it from as close as you can without actually being a Marine.

So, Happy Birthday for the second time this year Steve! I'll catch up on the present when you get the cabinets for your garage. We'll throw in an extra, k?

And a hearty Happy Veterans Day to all currently serving and those who have in the past. We are free because of each one of you!

Such Thing as a Wrong Verse?

Have you ever been doing a Bible study or preparing for one and you read the verse but it seemingly makes no sense with what you're studying? That happens to me sometimes. Usually the problem is that I'm in the wrong chapter, or worse yet, in the wrong book. But frequently before I discover the error, I decide I must not understand so I read the verse(s) in a bigger context. Then I stare in utter confusion as I try to figure it out.

More than once I've prepared a Bible study lesson, I get in the middle of it and ask someone to read a particular verse. I know the second their brow furrows that I've messed up. I've written down the wrong reference and the verse has NOTHING to do with what we're discussing. That's always a bunch of fun (insert sarcasm). I've gotten better about it though and at least now I'm not so embarrassed I could die. And we generally get a big kick out of it.

But this week something really good came out of it. We were sent to Isaiah 43:18-19 which fit perfectly with the day's homework. However, the pages of my Bible were stuck together and I ended up reading 44:18-19 which really didn't fit at all. So I read several verses before and after and there at the end of the chapter was a gem. Actually from verse 9 through the end it talks about God and idols. Here it is (note my emphasis):

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." ~ Isaiah 44:22

Is there any better reason to tear down our idols than because Christ redeemed us? I can't think of a single one. He was obedient to death on the cross--gave everything, up to and including his life--and we repeatedly put other things before and alongside him.

I guess it really is that simple.

An Ending

Last night concluded the study portion of this most recent Bible study. I have the same lesson to do for my Sunday night girls and then next week we're all doing dinner together. I'm sad for it to end.

Despite the fact that I was a bit skeptical at first, this study has meant so much to me and I've had huge breakthroughs on idols. I wasn't skeptical of the content but it was really designed as an in home type of study and we were doing it at the church. Plus I wondered what the heck we'd talk about for 90 minutes every week. That turned out to be a non-issue. By the time we shared a snack and got through our icebreaker / get to know you opening, we had already burned up 30 - 45 minutes.

I loved the insights the girls had each week and I frequently found myself mulling over them during the week or doing additional study to clarify things that came up. I never dreamed that would happen. But God knew exactly what each of us in these groups needed.

I loved that I was held accountable to finish my lessons and prepare something. I love that I am well on my way to removing things that shouldn't be in my life. But I'm not so thrilled about it ending because there isn't full victory yet. And I love meeting with these women each week.

I will, however, continue this process with God until we are finished. It'll be about 8-10 weeks before my next study begins in January so this should keep me deep in the Word.

I Voted

I always vote. I love America. I love to vote. And I love that there were lines to vote because that means people are taking responsibility. It's a great tribute to those who died for our freedom to vote.

God bless and have mercy on our nation, regardless of the outcome.

Pastor Paul used a verse in his sermon Sunday (which had nothing to do with politics) that goes along with the state of our country. It comes from 2 Chronicles 7:14:

"If my people, who are called by name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

It's up to us, God's children. Doesn't look like we're doing so well on the humbling ourselves before God and turning from our wicked ways. Ouch. Conviction hurts.

Strange Dynamic

Last week a woman called the church to request help for her adult daughter who recently had surgery. Steve took it not only because he was the only pastor in the office but also because the family lives in Laurel. So, he arranged with people from Calvary to take meals to them for a week.

Our day was Friday. We went out about 6 and discovered that one of their boys and a girl she described as "kind of my niece" had been to our VBS and other kids' things. They were SO excited to see Steve. All we could hear was "hey, Pastor Steve...". It was almost as if we'd brought them gold. They were hungry--on so many levels.

We visited just for a minute so they could eat and get out trick-or-treating. Before we left Steve asked if it would be alright to pray with them. Well, of course they said yes because, well, he's a pastor and that's kind of what they expect him to do. The kids came running into the living room and grabbed our hands. The parents stood in the circle too and held hands.

Here's what I found so odd, such a strange dynamic. These people don't go to church. Yet when they needed something, they knew to look to a church. If the church is doing its job, this is a great opportunity. If not, it's one more nail in the proverbial coffin. It was really a privilege to be able to serve them and minister to them. They promised to come visit Calvary when she's feeling better. I hope they do. We'll pray they do. But I'm not so convinced they really will when the time comes. Right now they're overwhelmed with gratitude that total strangers would bring them meals, love their kids, and offer full acceptance to them. But as the days pass, those feelings will likely fade too.

However, the seeds we've planted this week cannot be undone. Maybe we'll plant more seeds but maybe God will have someone else do that. Some day I hope to be involved in the harvest but ultimately God brings that and gets the glory. We just need to be ready to do whatever part He calls us to. That is true not only in this situation and with us; it's true of you too.