Lofty Goals

This weekend Steve and I were discussing a goal he was setting that I thought was far too lofty. Here's how the conversation went:

Julie: "Which would you rather have -- a goal you can attain or a goal you know you'll more than likely never reach?"

Steve: "I'd rather fail at a huge goal than attain something that wasn't even a challenge."

This has been interesting for me to ponder. Do I want to have a life full of victories that are never challenging or never stretch me? Or do I want a life with many failures because I tried for what seemed impossible? And oh the feeling of victory at the perceived impossible! Theodore Roosevelt said it this way:

"The credit belongs to those people who are actually in the arena...who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions to a worthy cause; who at best, know the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Mayhem...Night #2...And Serving Others

A couple of months ago a friend told me she and her husband had a rule in their house: the little people couldn't outnumber the big people. Ah, very good -- until they had their 3rd baby that is. I thought it was particularly good advice only in our case it would have to be that the 4-legged "people" can't outnumber the 2-legged people. So, as crazy as Monday night was, it was okay because there were enough 2-legged people around.

Last night, however, the little people outnumbered the big people in our house. A couple weeks ago I mentioned our new Tuesday night friend. Well, last night we had some more little friends which together totaled 3 so we were clearly outnumbered! And it was crazy. See, when you're used to 2 adults the house is generally quiet and without a lot of drama (remember, I said generally) so even just adding 1 little person into the mix upsets the cart.

Don't get me wrong -- these are not naughty children; rather they are just, well, children in an environment where adults are company far more often...and dogs. It's just a matter of what you're used to. The reverse is also true -- one night my friend Tonya, the mother of 5, came over to get some books and she was so overwhelmed at the quiet of our house that she had to leave before she fell asleep. Obviously her house is rarely quiet. Neither are bad, just a matter of what you live with every day.

But in the midst of all this mayhem was the bigger realization that we were truly serving these parents. One set gets to attend small group because we watch their little one and the other set got to go on a real, bonafide, no-kids-allowed-for-parents-only date. And often that is missing from so many marriages. The parents sacrifice their own relationship and not only is that bad for them but it's bad for their kids too. The sad thing in all this is that anybody can serve someone like this but many rarely do. We're filling our pews with people who don't look outside of themselves to serve others and they are raising children who have no idea what it means to serve others. And so those of us who do know have the responsibility of showing them how to do it by example.

And when we serve others, all of a sudden our inward focus is outward and our lives aren't as bad as we think because we aren't focusing solely on "me". Someone wrote a book where the first sentence was "It's not about you."; well, I'd go further and say "It's not about you at all, ever." And by the way, this reminder is more for me than anyone else.

Mayhem...And The Joy of Unexpected Visits

Last night around 8 p.m. Steve got a call from Jim who said they were in the neighborhood walking their dogs and wanted to stop by. I could go off on a huge rabbit trail about how crazy Jim & Brandi are to walk their dogs in this weather at that time of night but I think I've already sufficiently covered that I think it's crazy!

So, Steve went to open the door and as soon as Jake saw what was on the other side, he went NUTS - he always does when he sees other dogs. They all poured in and once the leashes were off, mayhem ensued! For those who don't know, Jim & Brandi have a beagle, Kaycee (posted several months ago with Sam & Jake) and a 6 month old black lab, Hunter. Add that to Sam the Golden Retriever and Jake the Pekingese and, well, I'm sure you understand. It was hilarious!

They all went outside but of course Jake came back into the house in no time - not only does his little body despise this weather, he just couldn't keep up. He sure tried, though! So, we let them back in the house and pure pandemonium -- again! Streaks of dogs everywhere! When Hunter started in on Sam, Jake was not pleased....believe it or not, he kind of came to the rescue of the big oaf. But, oh, they had so much fun -- at least I think they did. I'm no "dog whisperer" but I do have eyes and a brain.

But for the fact that Hunter took an unnatural liking to Sam, all went well. In spite of all the laughing we did at the 4 stooges, the better part was the unexpected visit. It was so reminiscent of my childhood where Saturdays at our house were a constant stream of people just stopping by for coffee and 20-30 minutes of conversation. Nobody does that anymore and it feels like a missing piece.

A New Tradition

This was the first Thanksgiving in 11 years that Steve did not have to work the night before and sleep half the holiday. So, I thought to myself, what can we do to commemorate? Well, Steve and I started a new Thanksgiving tradition this year and it was an unbelievably solid foundation for the remainder of the day. Maybe it should be a daily tradition and not a Thanksgiving one!

First we took turns thinking of 10 things each we were thankful for with the only rule being one couldn't say, "yeah, that one for me too." My logic behind that rule was that I could see Steve doing that very thing...yep, that's a good one, count that for me too. Amazingly enough, only 1 thing was repeated. As I stated in my previous post, we do indeed have a lot to be thankful for and I need to remember that more than ever right now.

Secondly Steve chose a scripture (I Chronicles 16) of thanks, in this case David's prayer of thanks after bringing the ark to Jerusalem. It's the bulk of the chapter but really worth the read for all types of occasions, not just thankfulness.

Finally we spent some time in worship through song, actually 4 of them. It was amazing. I don't even know how long it took but all I know is that when it was done, I realized I had very little time to boil my potatoes. But in light of what had just taken place, did I even need to care anyway? Probably not but as you might imagine, I did.

I'll end today with one of the verses from I Chronicles 16 (it's verse 25):

"For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods."

Full of Thankfulness

There is much to be thankful for during this holiday weekend and I pray you will have many blessings for which to give thanks. And may we all remember that it's not just in the good times and good things we are to be thankful. As the apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 5:19-20:

"Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, we have much to be thankful for and today I will choose to verbalize just two; salvation through Jesus Christ, and the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. I close today with words from an oldie but goodie.....the hymn titled We Gather Together (if you know the tune, sing it out!).

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known.
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing.
Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, were at our side, all glory be Thine!

We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant,
And pray that Thou still our Defender will be.
Let Thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!

Amen...and Happy Thanksgiving!

What We Are Today

I was particularly intrigued by the quote below. Talk about spiritual implications!

"These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If only we would grasp the deep moments and relationships of today our lives would be so enriched! Remember and cherish yesterday, dream about and plan for tomorrow, but truly live today. I dare say there isn't much we'd miss in a life like that.

Funny For The Weekend

The Past Few Days

As my previous post mentioned, I was headed to Georgia. Now I can say "been there, done that"! But for the fact that my cell phone wigged out and is now broken and the extremely exhausting days of flying, I had a marvelous time! Returning Tuesday I began at 6:30 a.m. Eastern Time and ended my day by arriving home at 10:09 p.m. Mountain time (yes, exactly). For those who may not be time wizards, that is 12:09 a.m. Eastern Time Wednesday morning - yes, 18 really long hours.....

Sunday we spent the morning at church and I was struck at how unbelievably different it is. Dave and Lonnie didn't just get called to a new place, it is very, very, very different. Did I mention how different it is? The culture, style, people, and traditions are all so very different. Same denomination yet so vastly different. So the fact that they not only survived but are thriving gives me an all new wonderment for my friends.

After lunch out and a brief nap (brief for me, long for Lonnie) we went to St. Simons island, sat in beach chairs, walked the pier, window shopped (everything was closed) and before picking up Dave we had one of my favorite times there. We spotted an Adirondack style swing and we sat side-by-side talking, laughing, crying, swinging, and laughing some more. I knew I deeply missed my friend but at that moment I realized it's not only because she's amazing but also because I've not found another friend to share my life every day like she did when they lived in Billings. Girls need friends like that, you know? Someone to sit and swing with, who will laugh at the funny, cry at the sad, and sometimes just sit when words are not appropriate. She didn't try to fix me, she didn't scold me, and she didn't make me feel like a freak. She wasn't too busy for me, didn't act like she had a thousand other places to be and we just basked in the friendship God has allowed us to have. We ended the day with a chick flick and "Lonnie" popcorn (man, she makes GREAT popcorn)!

After sleeping in on Monday we loaded up the bikes and headed to Jekyll Island -- no small feat to load 2 bicycles into a Taurus! There is a bike path around the entire island but we did just 1/3 of it to Driftwood Beach. We had lunch, hilarious adventures (seriously, I almost wet myself), and then headed to a part of the island where a resort had been built at the turn of the century along with winter homes by the insanely wealthy. While the resort is still running, the houses are part of the historical society. We walked around looking in the windows and visiting the small shops and ended that time much like the day before only this time by the croquet greens in individual Adirondack chairs. We headed out, stopping at Long John Silver's on the way home. After some personal Bible study time we met in the t.v. room for another chick flick and more "Lonnie" popcorn. For two whole days I didn't have to be anybody other than myself -- nobody was critical or judgmental of me, nobody told me how I need to act or need to change. And I was completely relaxed. If only Steve could have enjoyed this time with me and catch a glimpse of his fun-loving wife once again.

On Tuesday as she dropped me at the airport, Lonnie grabbed my hand and prayed for me by the car as tears streamed down my face. Don't get me wrong -- I was so happy to be coming home but I don't get time like this very often and certainly rarely with Lon. And I miss it.

So, that was my trip -- there are other places nearby I'd like to visit so Steve and I will have to make it back at some point. My airplane adventures in another post....

Georgia On My Mind

I am still in disbelief that I'm headed to Georgia in less than 24 hours! A couple of months ago I posted about my friend -- that I was unable to visit but was afraid to tell her. Well, through a series of events, God not only made it possible for me to go, but my ticket ended up being virtually FREE. That's right, free! (I did end up paying $10 in taxes and still wonder how tax can be assessed on a $0 item)

So, I'm headed to Jacksonville where she will pick me up tomorrow, escort me to her home in Georgia, and then I get to spend a couple of days learning from and gleaning wisdom from Lonnie. We've already decided the beach is a must-do. I love sitting in the sand with my eyes closed, listening to the waves pound in as everything around me begins to silence. In those moments all I can hear is the power of the ocean and it's mesmerizing. I easily get lost in the majesty and inevitably my mind remembers the greatness of God and his almighty power. I can't wait!

We'll also be going to Savannah and I so hope it measures up to the way my imagination has plotted.....romance, plantations, old-day Southern charm. Regardless of any met / unmet expectations, I'm sure it will be fascinating!

But more than anything I'm excited to spend quality time, re-energize a friendship maintained across the miles, and rejuvenate my floundering being. I pray this will be a turning point in my time of sifting.

Insight Into My Imagination

Today’s post will be a strange one, perhaps frightening, for many as we walk inside the doors to my imagination. My mind is rarely, if ever, still. Even at night it races and I have the most bizarre dreams! I love drama and I exude drama – Steve frequently tells me I’m over-dramatic and that I have a wild imagination. But it makes life so exciting, don’t you think?

Anyway, we’ve developed a regular habit of walking the dogs every morning. We have a couple of different routes we take and as we walk my mind races with stories. I imagine what it’s like to live in a particular house, wonder what people are doing as we walk by, ponder where they work, and I basically write a life story in my head about different things and people we see along the way. I also write stories about me, either things I hope to do or things I know will never happen but it evolves as a story in spite of that little fact. It’s lots of fun!

A couple of weeks ago as we passed a house on route #1 we noticed two dogs through their gate; one a golden retriever and the other a white dog about the same size. If not already at the gate they run over and sit as we walk by, just staring at us. I’ve decided the golden is Sam’s momma and she’s coming to see how her sweet little Bruiser is doing (that was his name when we bought him). At first I thought this to myself but last week I told Steve and he just shook his head and looked at me like I’m crazy! The truth is I don't even know if it's a girl dog or not...details, details. Now when we walk by I say “Sam, there’s your momma, looking to see how her boy is doing!” He just plods along, not paying any attention to her….or me for that matter. But I don’t mind, it makes me smile anyway.

And, it makes the walk a little more stimulating and life is so interesting when I imagine the things around me! Picture with me the the time Steve and I went to the “Garden Of The Gods” in Colorado. It’s bunches of rock formations, some of which they’ve named because of their shape but I discovered endless images apparently obvious only to me. I'd squeal with delight as I explained my take on formation after formation, most of which Steve never did comprehend. He must have told me 100 times that day how strange my little mind is! I do the same with clouds – have you ever noticed how many things are floating over your head at any given time? If not, you should look. It’ll amaze you how many doors open before your eyes when you think outside the "norm" (whatever that is).

Sure, you might think I'm weird too; or maybe just plain crazy but consider this -- God obviously has an imagination! For proof just look around you -- there are some seriously funny things in creation. If you ever get a chance to snorkel, you'll be astonished at what you see. Maybe that's a post for a later time.....my snorkeling experience.

Our Little Princess

On Saturday night Erica "went" to Winter Formal. I put that word in quotations because the crew she was with never actually made it to the school-sponsored dance. They went to a nice dinner and then to a friend's house to hang out. Steve put some thought into being there when her date arrived, cleaning a gun with 3 or 4 others close by but in the end, he settled for a picture with her and we left long before the pick-up time. She certainly didn't need an audience!

This is one of those events that reminded me she is 95% grown up and while it is so exciting to watch, it is equally sad to watch. There are times when we have so much fun I'm thrilled she's able to drive, feed herself, and of course way past the diaper stage. But then there are those same times when I'm sad she doesn't have to depend on me to take her home, help her across the street, or scoop her up when she falls down. Oh how I miss the days of her lifting up her arms to be picked up and needing a step stool to reach the counter while we make pizza. Well, she still needs a step stool sometimes because she's height challenged but that's a different story...

I saw her in the dress last week but it took my breath away when she walked out with her hair up, make-up on, and the dress with heels. I wanted to cry. Even as I type this the tears well up. She is beautiful but for so many reasons other than the obvious. It's who she is, her sense of humor, lack of common sense, and so much more. I couldn't be more proud if she were my own. I keep thinking about how my dad would have reacted at the sight of her this past weekend. Oh, he would have been so proud....BUT....he would have struggled as I do at the thought of his little princess going to formal.

All I can say is look for yourself -- you'll see why I am overwhelmed.

Another First

Yesterday Steve conducted his first Lord's Supper, aka Communion. I'm not even sure "conducted" is the right word but what else can I use? Anyway, he did it solo -- no trial run next to a seasoned pastor, no sidekick. And guess what? It was great! God did a great job through Steve.

I stepped out from behind my fortress where I run the easy worship and sermon and sat in the front row, hopefully to encourage Steve. I even winked when I caught his eye. The truth is he didn't NEED me there but I'm sure he didn't mind having me there either. I'm still in disbelief that this is really our life now - it's all surreal and very strange.

Then last night we had a Missions Supper where, as a mission church of EBC we had a table and Steve had to speak for 2-3 minutes about what's going on. I was at a table with some friends and she grew up with Steve so has known him a loooonnnnng time. She says she knew him when he was an obnoxious, smart-aleck boy so not much has changed really. Back to last night....by way of introduction, our pastor commented how when Steve returned from Iraq and met with him about his call, he said "you know, Steve, you're going to have to talk in ministry." Everyone laughed, especially those who know Steve so well -- to say he's a man of few words is an understatement. And then he stood up and as our friend said:

"He worked the crowd, stepped out around them, and ended with a joke. I'm so proud!

I am too Darla, I am too!

Stay tuned tomorrow for my musings on Erica's trek to Winter Formal this weekend.