An Amazing Amount of Faith

When I grow up I want to have as much faith as my husband. He's completely unwavering in his dedication to and the growth of his faith. Even when things don't turn out the way he prays they will, he still stands strong and firm in what he knows to be truth. Amazing isn't even a big enough word to describe it.

Several months ago we really felt like I was supposed to quit my second job. Steve simply said "do it." Me? Not so much. The number cruncher I am, I put a pen and paper to it. "Nope," I declared, "it doesn't work. Can't do it." I continued to work a couple more months. Things got tougher and again I knew I should quit. With Steve's assuring nod of approval I did so. I knew at the time we would be short every single month but Steve was so confident I really believed too. I began to keep a journal of God's faithfulness so I would know exactly how God provided. It's been staggering to reflect on.

Before I tell you what those entries total, I'll share a perfect example. In October it was decided we would spend New Year's with Steve's family, courtesy of free airfare provided by one of the brother's frequent flyer miles. Provision #1. My next question was, "well, what are we going to do about money once we get there?" We had a place to stay and transportation but what about meals and activities? Steve told me he would handle it. This was so hard for me because I'm the money person in the house and I already knew there was no possible way we could make it happen. As a matter of fact we didn't even have a Christmas budget and now he thinks we can add this too? Sure. You'd think after having an amazing vacation handed to us that will take place in January I'd not waver. If only I weren't such a doofus. Sadly, I am.

A couple weeks after his declaration that he'd handle it I asked Steve how his plan was going. His reply was "it's going." Another week went by and I asked again. Same answer. I couldn't stand it. I asked, "do you even really have a plan?" "Yep," he said. "Okay, what is it?" I asked. With much conviction he said, "I'm praying for it." Now, the story would be great if I told you I was sure and gung-ho about the results but I seriously was not. S-K-E-P-T-I-C-A-L best describes my outlook. I continued to check in periodically growing increasingly skeptical as time flew by. Finally I said "you know, we leave in 2 weeks." He said he knew that and it wasn't time to get on the plane so by his calculations, God still had time to provide.

Want to know what happened next? Between December 15th and 24th we received not only enough money while we're in NH but we have also received our spending money for our cruise, money for new tires, our shortage for the month, and a little to hang on to for our next need. Ironically, Steve's computer died last week so maybe that's what the extra was for and God just knew it would happen before it did so He gave that in advance.

My outlook is now S-H-O-C-K. I absolutely should not be shocked. We work for and serve the God who owns it all. To him, this money is a mere drop in the bucket. It's huge for us but it's almost as if He's saying "really, that's all you needed? No problem." He completely wowed me but I think it's more the result of Steve's never ending faith and belief that God can and will answer his prayers. Not just for our true needs like housing, food, clothes, etc. but also for the desires of his heart....sometimes.....even if his wife hasn't arrived yet.

Since I quit my second job, God has given us double what I would have made had I continued to work at Coke. I don't think He would have done this had I not quit because it was a matter of obedience. My desire for 2010 is that I would strive to believe God, not just believe in God. Those two things are very different. I'm long over New Year's resolutions and the up and down of failing to attain things that are so superficial it's ridiculous. But this one God will honor because it's a matter of His heart--and mine.

Merry Christmas!

All In The Pursuit of Beauty

Last night I caught about 10 minutes of some show that was highlighting an online business selling something like botox. The site further had videos showing exactly how and where to inject the stuff. This site was not owned or run by doctors yet woman after woman purchased from this site to look younger and feel better about themselves.

They were trying to save a few bucks. The end result was an absolute disaster. Most of these women have since spent thousands of dollars trying to fix what they did to themselves. One woman actually said "I have no one to blame but myself." At least she realizes it. One of the doctors who is working on her now said that even though he's done thousands of these procedures, he would never perform one on himself. It's simply too dangerous. He said the product, if injected in the wrong place, could cause blindness, nerve damage, irreparable scarring.

One woman in Korea who was a former model injected vegetable oil in her face. The end result was a completely disfigured face. She'll never model again to be sure.

All of this for the pursuit of beauty....a fleeting beauty no less. Vanity is perhaps closer to the truth. When Steve came upstairs I was telling him about it and we had what I consider a fairly interesting conversation. In the end we concluded that this is sinful behavior. Now, if a person has reconstruction or plastic surgery as the result of cancer, an accident, combat or the like, that makes total sense. It's not a matter of vain pursuit of beauty. But to remove a wrinkle due to laugh lines or simple aging is the sign of someone trying to find their worth and value in their physical appearance. This is wrong.

I've been thinking about this all day. I totally believe in taking care of oneself and doing what we can but to think we can stop the aging process or become more valuable with surgery is going down a road with dangerous consequences. Not to mention it won't work long term.

These women tried to remove small wrinkles. To them they were huge. Now they have huge scars, have spent thousands of dollars and in the end their small wrinkle is no longer the problem. Every one of them said they now think they look hideous. One wouldn't show her face on camera. The very thing they tried to attain eludes them still.

This is one of the reasons I think it's so important to learn where to find our value. It's why I'm passionate about it. It isn't in what we do, who we marry or give birth to, or what we look like. It's who we are in Christ. That's the only thing that will increase our beauty as the wrinkles come. It will cause us to give of ourselves in service to others, to love others and make an impact for eternity.

This is one message I'll share until the day I die--not only for the reasons stated above but also because I've struggled more often than not with staying grounded with this. It's so easy to get caught up and before I know it, that stronghold is back. I must be on guard against it at all times. We all must. And more importantly, we must teach the next generation the truth.