My injections have been alright the last 3 weeks--I just took my 6th one yesterday. After the 3rd one there was suspicion that I wouldn't be able to continue and I was seriously bummed because the initial results were so promising. But then came a fairly severe reaction to the site injections. It was a miserable 5 days in mid-March but after a consultation and some good advice from the amazing NP, things have gotten better. Sadly, I've experienced no positive improvement since that time, at least in how I feel physically. It's yet to be seen what the blood tests will show in a couple of weeks. One of the nurses told us the immune system is like a big submarine and it doesn't turn on a dime but even so, the initial weeks were so amazing I knew I would be an exception. Yeah, nice thought.
I find myself on this crazy roller coaster. The new medicine worked...UP I go. The lab tests were not so great...DOWN I go. The new medicine causes a negative reaction...DOWN I go. New lab tests prove promising...UP I go. The reactions to the injections calm down...UP I go. I attempt some "normal" activity only to hurt so badly I am in tears and cannot sleep....DOWN I plunge.
So here it is, 2 a.m. and I am getting just minutes of rest at a time before the sharp, searing pain jolts me awake. Pain so intense the tears roll down my face. I am not allowed (or at least have been strongly advised to stay away from) anything that will ease my discomfort. I finally got up to allow Steve some solid rest and am doing what a normal, sane person would do at this hour and with this problem...watching a movie and drinking diet Mountain Dew:) I am thoroughly, completely and utterly exhausted. Desperate for 6-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
As this uninterrupted sleep eludes me, my thoughts run rampant about this insane ride I am on. I long for an even-keeled, smooth ride like "It's a Small World" in Disneyland. Something predictable, easy and calming. Yet this season seems to doom me to a never ending roller coaster. I keep zooming past the ride operator waving my arms furiously to stop this thing yet he just pushes me on.
I've never been a fan of roller coasters. Now I know why.
