Learning to Ask the Right Questions

It's amazing the lessons coming at me from a thousand different directions. I'll be honest, I've not embraced or even wanted some of them. At times I feel like I'm in a vice grip that just keeps getting tighter. Some of the "stuff" pouring out of me is a delight...BUT...much of it is junk I wish weren't there, didn't know was there and the task before me is figure out what to do with all that.

Last week we spent 3 days with some of our small group leaders in training at a retreat. It's one of my favorite things every year.

One of the sessions touched on pain and suffering. Obviously it was in the context of how that relates to small group living but nevertheless, the lessons abounded for me personally as well. Two of the passages referenced were:

Romans 5:3-4 (NIV) "Not only so, but also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

and

1 Peter 5:10 (NIV) "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

So, it's clear from these passages that suffering is not happenstance. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think it was before I was reminded of these verses but sometimes in the midst of really difficult times I simply forget. I think we all do.

But what jumped out at me the most from this is that I need to learn to ask the right questions. For example, instead of asking God "why me" or "why now" I should be asking "what do you have for me during this season"?

In the midst of all this, I was waiting for the results of my latest tests which I was convinced would be normal because I had told God I couldn't take anything else. When we returned from our retreat there was a letter from my doctor with a new batch of bad news. I was flabbergasted. I bawled my eyes out. Actually I wept. I found myself overcome with the ongoing fear of dying and a newly found fear of living. That was on Saturday.

On Monday I was texting with a friend and while it may seem odd that we have these types of conversations via text, it's really quite normal for us. We also talk plenty and have face to face time so it's not as odd as it may seem. I texted her..."I seriously have no fight left." She responded, "Maybe that is where He wants you so He can fight."

Perhaps she's right. In any case, it gives me a new opportunity to think through the questions before I ask. Maybe this time I'll verbalize the right ones.