Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Slightest Encouragement

Last week I was battling one of my infamous lip episodes. Even though I caught this one earlier than the others, it still took a toll on my face. The other two were humdingers with my lip hanging down to my chin so in comparison, this one was nothing.

But to me it was definitely something. I'm generally self-conscious so any anomaly is going to be intensified hundreds of times over. By Sunday it was not nearly as noticeable as it had been and people who know me well and know how obsessed I was about it kept telling me it really wasn't a big deal.

And then the most encouraging thing happened. From about 30 feet away I saw a young woman I admire greatly and am always encouraged by. No matter what happens in her life, she stands strong and declares how great God is in the midst of it. Surely she has her moments but you'd never really know it. She waved at me, took her finger and circled her face declaring "you look beautiful!"

"It's my new curling iron!" I exclaimed. She laughed and said it had nothing to do with that. There was not a hint of sarcasm or anything phony in what she said. She meant it and I knew it. I almost bawled right there in front of everyone. She had no idea what was whirling around in that brain of mine. We chatted a moment and then I had to return to my post where I was serving so we parted ways.

She had no idea how that small sentence impacted my entire week. Last night at the Ladies Christmas Party I had the opportunity to tell her how much I appreciated that comment and why. In the midst of a "feel crummy, looking crummy, self-conscious" kind of week, she saw something in me that made her declare its beauty whereas all I could see was a glaring imperfection negatively affecting every thought of myself.

You know, I do what I can to paint the barn (so to speak) but I know for certain this face will never walk a runway. Nor do I have any desire for that. However, if someone can look at me and see any kind of beauty, no matter how small, I declare victory. For I know in and of myself that any beauty I exude is only because of Christ in me. He is beautiful and he's making me beautiful. A beauty that not only lasts as the wrinkles come but actually grows.

Such great hope is found in the slightest encouragement. You never know what that one kind word or deed will do for someone's day, week, month, year or life. It's always worth the time.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Grace and Mercy...A Life Lesson

One thing about taking the same route to work every day is that eventually you begin to pay less and less attention to your surroundings. I first became aware of this years ago after my dad had a heart attack. The doctor asked him if he drove the same route to work every day. He said yes. The doctor then told him that by varying your route, you can reduce stress and it also decreases your chance of an accident as you pay closer attention on roads you don't drive as often. It actually makes complete sense.

What doesn't make sense for me is to change my route because it will add a lot more time and waste gas as I virtually have a straight road between my home and the office. That being said, I found myself fairly unaware of my surroundings as I drove home today. While still in the church parking lot I checked my voicemail. Since I don't have a bluetooth and it's against the law to be on the phone while driving, I no longer do that. But I was in a private lot and I drove off without even thinking about being on the phone. I headed down Monad and before I realized it, a police car was headed towards me and the lights flashed. I knew instantly it was for me. He did a quick u-turn and pulled over behind me as I pulled to the curb.

NUTS! I was suddenly aware of the phone in my ear. Hadn't thought a thing about it up until then. I put the phone down. He walked up to the car and after our courteous greetings here's what happened (he will be "P", I will be "J"):
P: Where you headed?

J: Home.

P: Do you have your driver's license on you?

J: Sure. (as I dug it out as he said....)

P: I first clocked you at 43 (I was in a 35) and when you hit 45 I had to pull you over.

J: Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention.

P: Julie, do you have your registration and insurance?

J: Yes. (I handed it to him).

P: You still at XXX Drive?

J: Yes.

P: When was the last time you were pulled over for speeding?

J: Not sure, but sometime around 1990 when there was no speed limit and the tickets were $5 (seriously, that's true...$5 tickets on the highway during that time).

P: Okay, let me check everything out, make sure you don't have warrants and aren't a terrorist and then I'll be back with a warning.

J: Okay, thanks. (VERY RELIEVED)
He walked away. It wasn't about the phone at all! Not that speeding is better. I texted Steve "NUTS! I got pulled over." "For what?" "45 in a 35." Then a friend called and since I was no longer driving, I picked it up and said "hey, gotta call you back, I've been pulled over." He laughed.

The officer walked back up and said, "Well, you're good to go. Everything is in order as it should be. I'm giving you a warning. Hopefully this will slow you down."
J: Thanks. Sorry about that, I guess I just wasn't paying attention. Crazy thing is, I'm not even in a hurry.

P: *laughs* Have a good night.

J: You too.
He walked away and I drove off, very thankful for the grace and mercy he gave me. He could have given me a ticket and I totally deserved it. But because I had all the proper requirements and I think, in part, because I was so courteous and honest, he gave me a warning instead. Steve used to do that all the time when he was a deputy. If someone was nice, honest, respectful and had everything they were required to have he would give them a warning. If, however, they didn't have a license or insurance or current registration, or were particularly rude and offensive, that was a different story. I used to tell him all the time he was a softie. "Hang 'em!" I declared.

Today I was as grateful to that officer as those who Steve showed grace and mercy surely were. And I think maybe because Steve had shown that to so many others during those years, I received a bit of the "comes around" today. That's how it works....we give grace to others who in turn give it to others who in turn give it back to us. And the cycle continues.

That cycle begins with the grace and mercy God has given first. Undeserved yet so freely given. I thought of that the last few blocks home. Today I received a human version to remind me of the far greater grace and mercy I have been given yet don't contemplate nearly enough. If I did, I would far more quickly extend that to others who unintentionally (or even intentionally) hurt me, say things to damage me and get under my skin. I would be in quite a fix if God so quickly and easily removed His grace or mercy from me. I think we all would.