I had a really bad day today. I was so mad and so frustrated I just sat down and cried. That's what I do when I am beyond mad and beyond frustrated.
But then I spoke with a friend who is burying her grandma tomorrow. And another friend who is dealing with a really difficult medical situation with her child. And yet another friend is packing up and moving across the country--without a promise of a job but she and her husband know this is what God wants them to do. All of a sudden my bad day wasn't as bad. It still stunk, but in comparison...not so much.
In the interim though I marveled at how easily I become overwhelmed and how little endurance I have in the situations God sends my way to test my patience--and my faith. Not that I want my friends to suffer more than I do so I feel better about my situation but in this case, God really used it to help me gain perspective.
As a general rule, we tend to compare up--we look at those who have it better. Then it's easy to wallow in how poorly we feel. What if, instead, we looked at those around us who have less and we set out to minister to them? Then our focus would no longer be us, it would be in helping and loving others.
Everyone wins. The less fortunate are helped in the process and so are we. The spiritual rewards are great when we get outside of ourselves.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The "Why" of an Idol
In this past week's study on idols we answered the question, "why an idol?" Each day we looked at a different answer to that question. Undoubtedly there are more than the 5 answers we studied but I find them to be fairly inclusive.
So, as I prepared for the week, I took a different spin on each of these and was utterly fascinated with the scriptures I found to address each one. However, there was one that spoke so personally to me and it was identity. As an aside, pain was a pretty close second.
Think about this--our idols give us an identity. This is so important for women. Sometimes we identify ourselves relationally, i.e. wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. Other times we do so professionally, i.e. doctor, analyst, etc. Our jobs and relationships can easily become idols. The question becomes "what happens to us when circumstances change that identity?" For example, let's say you lose your job, your marriage takes a turn for the worst, or your children rebel. How does that affect your identity? For most of us, it causes an identity crisis.
I'll use myself as an example. Three years ago my life began to turn upside down. My husband went to Iraq (not our first deployment and this was a really positive experience for us so I'm not crying about it). Yes, I was still his wife, but the dynamic changed. Then, due to a corporate merger, my job was eliminated. I had so engrossed myself with that job and it provided not only great income but reward, recognition, and I WAS my job. One day it was gone. Then my dad died--my childhood knight in shining armor, one of the two most important men in my life. Technically I'll always be his daughter but I was a girl without an earthly dad. Who the heck was I? I must have asked myself that a million times. Everything I used to identify myself was gone and I found myself in the middle of a great battle for identity. This went on for over a year and there weren't too many days that passed without tears.
I finally realized that the answer was in the mis-placement of my identity. I should firmly place who I am and what I do in Christ--and only Christ. But it has to be a conscious choice to do so. I began to search the scriptures to answer the question "who am I in Christ?" There are several but here are just a couple I love:
So, as I prepared for the week, I took a different spin on each of these and was utterly fascinated with the scriptures I found to address each one. However, there was one that spoke so personally to me and it was identity. As an aside, pain was a pretty close second.
Think about this--our idols give us an identity. This is so important for women. Sometimes we identify ourselves relationally, i.e. wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. Other times we do so professionally, i.e. doctor, analyst, etc. Our jobs and relationships can easily become idols. The question becomes "what happens to us when circumstances change that identity?" For example, let's say you lose your job, your marriage takes a turn for the worst, or your children rebel. How does that affect your identity? For most of us, it causes an identity crisis.
I'll use myself as an example. Three years ago my life began to turn upside down. My husband went to Iraq (not our first deployment and this was a really positive experience for us so I'm not crying about it). Yes, I was still his wife, but the dynamic changed. Then, due to a corporate merger, my job was eliminated. I had so engrossed myself with that job and it provided not only great income but reward, recognition, and I WAS my job. One day it was gone. Then my dad died--my childhood knight in shining armor, one of the two most important men in my life. Technically I'll always be his daughter but I was a girl without an earthly dad. Who the heck was I? I must have asked myself that a million times. Everything I used to identify myself was gone and I found myself in the middle of a great battle for identity. This went on for over a year and there weren't too many days that passed without tears.
I finally realized that the answer was in the mis-placement of my identity. I should firmly place who I am and what I do in Christ--and only Christ. But it has to be a conscious choice to do so. I began to search the scriptures to answer the question "who am I in Christ?" There are several but here are just a couple I love:
In Ephesians 5:1, I am a dearly loved child.And those are just a few. If I (and you) find my identity in Christ, there are no circumstances that can come into my life which cause me to lose my identity. I am secure. There may be pain from the circumstances, but who I am in Christ will be firmly set.
In Isaiah 62:12 I am part of a holy people...redeemed of the Lord...sought after... (and this one I love)...a city no longer deserted.
In 1 Peter 2:5 I am a holy priesthood.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Inadequate
Last night in small group we looked at reasons we feel inadequate to serve God. We examined examples in David, Abraham, Moses, and Peter. Each of these biblical characters had reason to feel so unqualified to serve God.
For David, it was great sin--adultery and murder chief among them. He could have used that as a reason to run and hide, never to serve again. He did not. He chose to receive God's forgiveness and restoration.
For Abraham, it was age. He could have thought he was too old to be the father of many nations. He could have used the fact that he didn't have a child of his own to say no. He did not. He chose to believe God.
Moses tried to use his lack of eloquent speech, stammering, and overall inability to speak. God countered all his objections and eventually Moses came to the place where he surrendered and went on to be known as the friend of God.
Peter could have used his denial of Christ and been overcome with sorrow and regret. He did not. He chose to receive forgiveness and restoration and went on to give an amazing sermon on the Day of Pentecost where thousands were added to the kingdom of God in one day.
I could create a grand list of my own inadequacies that could certainly disqualify me for ministry. Often I am tempted to do so. Sometimes it's because I don't want to do something but usually it's because I just don't feel adequate enough to do what I've been asked to do. That's where the lies of satan overtake me.
That truth is that in and of myself, I am inadequate. I don't have what it takes to do what He's called me to do but therein lies the great victory that gives God glory. When I do something that is completely out of my comfort zone and natural talents or abilities, then everyone around me can know that it's not me but Christ in me. All of my shortcomings are overcome by Christ in me.
I said this in a recent post but one of my favorite truths is that God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. If He's called me to do something, then he will equip me with whatever I need to complete the task. He promises to do so.
For David, it was great sin--adultery and murder chief among them. He could have used that as a reason to run and hide, never to serve again. He did not. He chose to receive God's forgiveness and restoration.
For Abraham, it was age. He could have thought he was too old to be the father of many nations. He could have used the fact that he didn't have a child of his own to say no. He did not. He chose to believe God.
Moses tried to use his lack of eloquent speech, stammering, and overall inability to speak. God countered all his objections and eventually Moses came to the place where he surrendered and went on to be known as the friend of God.
Peter could have used his denial of Christ and been overcome with sorrow and regret. He did not. He chose to receive forgiveness and restoration and went on to give an amazing sermon on the Day of Pentecost where thousands were added to the kingdom of God in one day.
I could create a grand list of my own inadequacies that could certainly disqualify me for ministry. Often I am tempted to do so. Sometimes it's because I don't want to do something but usually it's because I just don't feel adequate enough to do what I've been asked to do. That's where the lies of satan overtake me.
That truth is that in and of myself, I am inadequate. I don't have what it takes to do what He's called me to do but therein lies the great victory that gives God glory. When I do something that is completely out of my comfort zone and natural talents or abilities, then everyone around me can know that it's not me but Christ in me. All of my shortcomings are overcome by Christ in me.
I said this in a recent post but one of my favorite truths is that God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. If He's called me to do something, then he will equip me with whatever I need to complete the task. He promises to do so.
Monday, September 22, 2008
A Big Win!!
So, here it is after 10 p.m. and I'm so incredibly jazzed I can't even think about sleep. I did something tonight I've never done before and quite frankly had no desire to do. I went to a City Council meeting. I know, I know, it might not sound exciting but believe me, the end result was!
They recently did some landscaping on the main road in front of our subdivision. We knew we'd have to pay a portion of it. I guess that comes with buying a new home in a new subdivision. Well, 5 years ago it was. Anyway, we went to a meeting 2 years ago - that's right, 2 years - and we were told we'd have to pay $404 and the total project cost was $33,000. Okay, I could live with that but then nothing happened for a really long time. So, I began to check on it.
After much back and forth I was told last December that we'd be informed well in advance of the actual assessment. Fast forward to July. I noticed they are doing the landscaping but I'd never received a letter about it. So I called. And called. And called. I was finally told a month ago it would be $1,025 per homeowner. I almost fainted. Then a week later we got the letter. The project total had jumped to almost $80,000! We were given a whopping 2 weeks to pay that amount or it would be assessed on our taxes for 15 years at 5.6% interest. (As a side note, I saw the breakdown for the first time. They chose the highest bid, the trees were $420 each, and the extra cost was a $25,000 well and $20,000 in engineering fees. Seriously, $20,000 to say "put a tree here...and there...". No, that's not excessive at all.)
Believing this was unethical, I dug out my previous paperwork and my friend Sara (who lives in the subdivision) and I headed downtown. We sat through an agonizing 2 hours of testimony about a different initiative thinking that by the time they got to ours it would be 3 a.m. We were #7 on the agenda.
Well, after the first one, it went really fast and as it turns out, around 12 people from our subdivision were there too. We all had the same story--because it was the truth. Around 4 of us testified and I told them that almost tripling the amount and giving us only 2 weeks to pay was an unethical way to do business. One of the councilmen also backed our story so the mayor said "you know, there are 3 other special improvement district initiatives on the agenda and nobody was here for those. Something has to be amiss in this one."
So, this item was postponed to allow time for us to get all our documentation to the council and the city can get theirs. They claim they have copies of letters sent out informing us of the end cost. There is no way they can back up their claims because every single one of us have the same story. At this point they'd have to fabricate a letter. I wouldn't put it beyond them either but I digress.
That means we don't have to pay the $1025 by the 30th AND the city may end up absorbing the additional $40,000 rather than assessing it to us. YEAH FOR DEMOCRACY! The little guy CAN win.....I told you it was exciting!
They recently did some landscaping on the main road in front of our subdivision. We knew we'd have to pay a portion of it. I guess that comes with buying a new home in a new subdivision. Well, 5 years ago it was. Anyway, we went to a meeting 2 years ago - that's right, 2 years - and we were told we'd have to pay $404 and the total project cost was $33,000. Okay, I could live with that but then nothing happened for a really long time. So, I began to check on it.
After much back and forth I was told last December that we'd be informed well in advance of the actual assessment. Fast forward to July. I noticed they are doing the landscaping but I'd never received a letter about it. So I called. And called. And called. I was finally told a month ago it would be $1,025 per homeowner. I almost fainted. Then a week later we got the letter. The project total had jumped to almost $80,000! We were given a whopping 2 weeks to pay that amount or it would be assessed on our taxes for 15 years at 5.6% interest. (As a side note, I saw the breakdown for the first time. They chose the highest bid, the trees were $420 each, and the extra cost was a $25,000 well and $20,000 in engineering fees. Seriously, $20,000 to say "put a tree here...and there...". No, that's not excessive at all.)
Believing this was unethical, I dug out my previous paperwork and my friend Sara (who lives in the subdivision) and I headed downtown. We sat through an agonizing 2 hours of testimony about a different initiative thinking that by the time they got to ours it would be 3 a.m. We were #7 on the agenda.
Well, after the first one, it went really fast and as it turns out, around 12 people from our subdivision were there too. We all had the same story--because it was the truth. Around 4 of us testified and I told them that almost tripling the amount and giving us only 2 weeks to pay was an unethical way to do business. One of the councilmen also backed our story so the mayor said "you know, there are 3 other special improvement district initiatives on the agenda and nobody was here for those. Something has to be amiss in this one."
So, this item was postponed to allow time for us to get all our documentation to the council and the city can get theirs. They claim they have copies of letters sent out informing us of the end cost. There is no way they can back up their claims because every single one of us have the same story. At this point they'd have to fabricate a letter. I wouldn't put it beyond them either but I digress.
That means we don't have to pay the $1025 by the 30th AND the city may end up absorbing the additional $40,000 rather than assessing it to us. YEAH FOR DEMOCRACY! The little guy CAN win.....I told you it was exciting!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Simply Amazing
I am reveling in this amazing weekend of real scriptural meat, incredible worship, the opportunity to minister to others, to be ministered to, and spend some time with my girlfriends (and 45oo others too).
I went to the Living Proof Live Conference with Beth Moore at the Metra and I have a few things to share in the days to come once I comb through my notes and it really sinks in. But for now, there are two things in particular that jumped out at me and just have my mind swarming with thoughts and feelings:
I went to the Living Proof Live Conference with Beth Moore at the Metra and I have a few things to share in the days to come once I comb through my notes and it really sinks in. But for now, there are two things in particular that jumped out at me and just have my mind swarming with thoughts and feelings:
- God heals me based on what He knows, not based on what I know.
- Sometimes the ministry we have is not what we think we signed up for. What do we do then?
I am so relieved God doesn't wait for me to figure out how I need healing to begin the healing process. Having lived through a really rough couple of years, I needed to hear this.
More to come later.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Upcoming Speaking Gig
A couple weeks ago I was asked to speak to a group of women about inner beauty. The invitation came as the result of a speaking engagement two years ago when I spoke on the same topic. The audience is different this time and the type of event is different so while some of the content will be the same or similar, overall it will be new.
Initially I was ecstatic--I enjoy this kind of thing and I'm passionate about it. I've been praying for more opportunities just like this. But in the last week I've grown increasingly anxious about it. Why would anyone want to listen to me? What makes me think I've got anything worth sharing? What if I stink? And tonight when I got home from Bible study I told Steve I feel like I should throw in the towel on that and the two weekly studies I lead. I just can't do it.
This insecurity I have is sometimes so prevalent and so severe at times I have physical reactions to it. It's maddening. I keep going back to the last study I did where the point was made that thinking too lowly of myself is still pride because the focus is still me. The truth is I'm not good enough. I'm not worth listening to. But God is.
And I'm reminded about something that was said to Steve and I the night he was ordained. God doesn't call the qualified--he qualifies the called. So, if he's called me to speak at this event, then he's also qualified me or is qualifying me. It's not at all about me. And now I must say that to myself over and over between now and November.
"It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me." As an aside, it's not about you either:)
Initially I was ecstatic--I enjoy this kind of thing and I'm passionate about it. I've been praying for more opportunities just like this. But in the last week I've grown increasingly anxious about it. Why would anyone want to listen to me? What makes me think I've got anything worth sharing? What if I stink? And tonight when I got home from Bible study I told Steve I feel like I should throw in the towel on that and the two weekly studies I lead. I just can't do it.
This insecurity I have is sometimes so prevalent and so severe at times I have physical reactions to it. It's maddening. I keep going back to the last study I did where the point was made that thinking too lowly of myself is still pride because the focus is still me. The truth is I'm not good enough. I'm not worth listening to. But God is.
And I'm reminded about something that was said to Steve and I the night he was ordained. God doesn't call the qualified--he qualifies the called. So, if he's called me to speak at this event, then he's also qualified me or is qualifying me. It's not at all about me. And now I must say that to myself over and over between now and November.
"It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me." As an aside, it's not about you either:)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
No Others Before...Or Alongside
I'm sitting here preparing my lesson for tomorrow night and as I reviewed what I did last week, I revel once again in a verse I know I've read but for some reason it hit me anew as I studied up for the ladies.
In Exodus 20 God is giving the Ten Commandments. Verse 3 says "You shall have no other gods before me." That one is something most people know, even those who rarely darken the doorway of a church. But as I kept reading and got to verse 23, I discovered a gem that while I've read it, I never really stopped to ponder it.
Well, several reasons really but here's a couple. First, Exodus 20:5 tells us God is a jealous God. Rightfully so because here's the second reason: He died for my sins so I can have eternal life. I think given that sacrifice, the least I can do is make Him the priority in my life.
In Exodus 20 God is giving the Ten Commandments. Verse 3 says "You shall have no other gods before me." That one is something most people know, even those who rarely darken the doorway of a church. But as I kept reading and got to verse 23, I discovered a gem that while I've read it, I never really stopped to ponder it.
"Do not make any gods to be alongside me; do not make for yourselves gods of silver or gods of gold."No other gods before is not enough...there are to be no other gods alongside either. The Israelites did this very thing over and over again throughout the Old Testament. 2 Kings 17:41 records:
"Even while these people were worshipping the Lord, they were serving their idols."They worshipped the Lord AND they served idols. Not that different from many of us, including me. This thought put a new spin on it for me. Not only do I need to discern if there is something before God but also if there is anything alongside of God. Why?
Well, several reasons really but here's a couple. First, Exodus 20:5 tells us God is a jealous God. Rightfully so because here's the second reason: He died for my sins so I can have eternal life. I think given that sacrifice, the least I can do is make Him the priority in my life.
Easy to Say, Hard to Do
I'm still fairly consistently mulling over the question, "what am I willing to do for God?" It seems like every time I turn around it stares me in the face! Obviously it's an issue I need to resolve or it wouldn't still loom in front of me.
Last night it came up at small group but wasn't even the topic of the night. Rather, it came out of heartache. Someone remarked how it's easy it is to say we'd do anything for Christ but if it came down to it, actually doing that one thing is much more difficult, perhaps impossible.
What if, like Abraham, God asked you to sacrifice your child? I've waited a long time for a child--not at long as Abraham--but a long time. At this point it doesn't appear that is God's plan for us. But, if he ever did give us a child, would I be as obedient as Abraham was? I don't believe for a minute God intended for him to sacrifice Isaac. But he need to know where his heart was.
So though this latest mulling, I realized there is something I said I was willing to do for God but now that it's coming down to it, I am struggling with actually letting it go.
And so the process continues.....however, not all is without hope. This first week of my new Bible study has been phenomenal and I'm really identifying some of the details behind things I am hanging on to far too tightly. They need to go so I can be free!
Last night it came up at small group but wasn't even the topic of the night. Rather, it came out of heartache. Someone remarked how it's easy it is to say we'd do anything for Christ but if it came down to it, actually doing that one thing is much more difficult, perhaps impossible.
What if, like Abraham, God asked you to sacrifice your child? I've waited a long time for a child--not at long as Abraham--but a long time. At this point it doesn't appear that is God's plan for us. But, if he ever did give us a child, would I be as obedient as Abraham was? I don't believe for a minute God intended for him to sacrifice Isaac. But he need to know where his heart was.
So though this latest mulling, I realized there is something I said I was willing to do for God but now that it's coming down to it, I am struggling with actually letting it go.
And so the process continues.....however, not all is without hope. This first week of my new Bible study has been phenomenal and I'm really identifying some of the details behind things I am hanging on to far too tightly. They need to go so I can be free!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Nothing Like a Good Sermon....
...on hell to make me remember the urgency of sharing the gospel and how unimportant everything else is.
We're still making our way through the book of Mark and we came to 9:42-50 where Jesus talks about hell. There were 3 points in the sermon before the description of hell but the 3rd one stood out the most. It was "there is no such thing as hell on earth." Our pastor went on to say that doesn't mean there aren't horrible atrocities in this life because obviously there are. But nothing in the here and now can compare to an eternity of torment and suffering in hell. Compared to that, this life, even at 100 years, is a mere blip on the radar.
Sermons like this are great because often in my every day life, and dare I say everyone's life (?), I get caught up in what's happening to me and it's the worst thing ever. Anyone else there? It could be at the hand of someone else, it could be sickness, or it could just be my own stupidity (frequently). People buzz past me, come in and out of my path and I never stop to contemplate their eternal destiny. Nope, it's just all about my little world.
And then our Sunday School lesson came out of Matthew 21 about the parable of the great wedding feast and the guy cast out into "outer darkness where there was weeping and gnashing of teeth" aka hell.
Man, with those two back-to-back lessons, I've got to say God is clearly showing me something. See, I'm smart like that....HA HA!
p.s. - if you want to be challenged on this very subject, you can listen to this sermon by clicking here.
We're still making our way through the book of Mark and we came to 9:42-50 where Jesus talks about hell. There were 3 points in the sermon before the description of hell but the 3rd one stood out the most. It was "there is no such thing as hell on earth." Our pastor went on to say that doesn't mean there aren't horrible atrocities in this life because obviously there are. But nothing in the here and now can compare to an eternity of torment and suffering in hell. Compared to that, this life, even at 100 years, is a mere blip on the radar.
Sermons like this are great because often in my every day life, and dare I say everyone's life (?), I get caught up in what's happening to me and it's the worst thing ever. Anyone else there? It could be at the hand of someone else, it could be sickness, or it could just be my own stupidity (frequently). People buzz past me, come in and out of my path and I never stop to contemplate their eternal destiny. Nope, it's just all about my little world.
And then our Sunday School lesson came out of Matthew 21 about the parable of the great wedding feast and the guy cast out into "outer darkness where there was weeping and gnashing of teeth" aka hell.
Man, with those two back-to-back lessons, I've got to say God is clearly showing me something. See, I'm smart like that....HA HA!
p.s. - if you want to be challenged on this very subject, you can listen to this sermon by clicking here.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Steve's Birthday
Today is Steve's 39th birthday. In honor of his special day, I wrote the following card:
OUTSIDE: As is the custom, 39 years ago today the doctor slapped your....
INSIDE: ...mother and asked "What were you thinking?"
Here's a few fun shots of Steve as a little guy.
Seems my man was a patriot from way back.
This is one of my all time favorite pictures. It's his kindergarten picture and he just looks so devilish, doesn't he?
OUTSIDE: As is the custom, 39 years ago today the doctor slapped your....
INSIDE: ...mother and asked "What were you thinking?"
It was all I could do not to make him open it yesterday because I couldn't contain my laughter! So, Happy Birthday Steve! This is the one day a year you don't have to make your bed, that you get to do what you want, and then I'll make you whatever you want for dinner.
Oh, wait, that's every day. Maybe in celebration of your birthday you should make the bed and serve me. HHHHMMMMM....Here's a few fun shots of Steve as a little guy.
Seems my man was a patriot from way back. This is one of my all time favorite pictures. It's his kindergarten picture and he just looks so devilish, doesn't he?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A New Study
Okay, so tonight I am incredibly jazzed. I'm beginning a new study tomorrow night and as I'm preparing the intro lesson I can barely contain my excitement. There are several reasons I chose this study but all pale in comparison to the idea that God has appointed this study for me at this exact time with the exact group of ladies that will be joining me.
The study is No Other Gods / Confronting our Modern Day Idols by Kelly Minter. Once you read the following excerpt, you'll get why I'm so incredibly jazzed.
Her comments reference 2 Kings 17:33, 41 so here it is for a quick read: "They worshiped the Lord, but they also served their own gods...Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols."
(1) Taken from No Other Gods by Kelly Minter; 2007, LifeWay Press; pages 11-12.
The study is No Other Gods / Confronting our Modern Day Idols by Kelly Minter. Once you read the following excerpt, you'll get why I'm so incredibly jazzed.
Her comments reference 2 Kings 17:33, 41 so here it is for a quick read: "They worshiped the Lord, but they also served their own gods...Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols."
Could it be that we are serving our own gods, though we sit on the front row of church and serve the fruit tea? Do we claim the Bible as our source of truth while our real counselors come from movie screens and magazines? Perhaps so many of our struggles--lack of freedom, loss of spiritual desire, slavery to image, perfectionism, confusion, and infinitely more possibilities--have much to do with God and gods. The people in 2 Kings were worshipping God, but they were serving their idols.I so want this study to permeate all of my senses and just really reveal to me any idols that are taking even a small part of my heart and loyalty away from God. These next 9 weeks will be a ride, that's certain, for God is never boring. And he always honors even our meager efforts at obedience.
I believe this halfhearted living is possibly one of the reasons why so many of us have been stuck. Basically, we have edged God out. We have left Him with little room in our hearts. Our false gods have taken up our most treasured spaces, leaving little room for God to show Himself strong on our behalf. (1)
(1) Taken from No Other Gods by Kelly Minter; 2007, LifeWay Press; pages 11-12.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Soldier's Video
A friend sent me this video. I have previously said that the best way to know what's going on in Iraq is to ask someone who has been there. For me that person has obviously been my husband. Those who have been there get it. They know why they are there. Positive changes are happening but if the media told us the truth, they would have to admit they propagate a liberal agenda.
Please take a minute to watch this--if for no other reason than to honor our soldiers. Here's a heads up....it made me cry but then again, I'm emotionally charged about these things. Not only because I've lived through them but also because I'm patriotic and understand our freedom costs something.
Thanks Steven...it was my honor to serve you at home while you served all of us in Iraq.
Please take a minute to watch this--if for no other reason than to honor our soldiers. Here's a heads up....it made me cry but then again, I'm emotionally charged about these things. Not only because I've lived through them but also because I'm patriotic and understand our freedom costs something.
Thanks Steven...it was my honor to serve you at home while you served all of us in Iraq.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Marriage Reminder
Today my cousin Kristin and I did a bridal shower / brunch for our cousin Cindy who will be getting married in just 3 weeks! Each time I give a shower or go to a shower, I am reminded of how exciting the anticipation of being a newlywed is and the fun of having your special day. But then I also think about how many people never stick it out much past the newness. And how frequently the joy and smiles quickly turn into tears, sadness, and despair.
Not that I think this will happen to Cindy & Kyle but it just always makes me think. One thing we did today was provide a book for everyone to write some advice for Cindy or a favorite verse or whatever was on their heart for her. A couple of things I wrote:
Here's a few pictures of the big event......Isn't this just the coolest cake? (No, I'm not being arrogant - I didn't make the cake! Kristin was in charge of having that done and I did the brunch food).
And the bride to be...
This is (from L to R) me, Lindsay, Kristin, and Cindy. We made Lindsay our honorary cousin a few years ago during a Bible study the 4 of us did. She is just as nutty as we are and fits in perfectly. She's been Kristin's friend since high school.
And the most beautiful party attender. And the youngest. Miss Mia Elizabeth.
Not that I think this will happen to Cindy & Kyle but it just always makes me think. One thing we did today was provide a book for everyone to write some advice for Cindy or a favorite verse or whatever was on their heart for her. A couple of things I wrote:
First, put God at the center of your marriage. Pursue him first and each other second. Let God fill you and satisfy you as only he can. Don't put your spouse in that place or you're setting them up to fail. They can't be God so let them off the hook.I've sure been there over the last 20 years. And anyone who has been married for even just a few months knows what I'm talking about. No other relationship is as rewarding and as maddening at the same time. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Second, choose every day to stick out and work on your marriage. When the newness wears off and you just feel like running, choose to stay. The world will tell you, maybe even encourage you, to leave. To run. And you may be justified in doing so by human standards. Loving your spouse is a choice, not a feeling. It's hard. Sometimes it is unbelievably hard but it's always worth it.
Here's a few pictures of the big event......Isn't this just the coolest cake? (No, I'm not being arrogant - I didn't make the cake! Kristin was in charge of having that done and I did the brunch food).
And the bride to be...This is (from L to R) me, Lindsay, Kristin, and Cindy. We made Lindsay our honorary cousin a few years ago during a Bible study the 4 of us did. She is just as nutty as we are and fits in perfectly. She's been Kristin's friend since high school. And the most beautiful party attender. And the youngest. Miss Mia Elizabeth.
Friday, September 5, 2008
New Job..New Insecurity
So, yesterday I started a new job. And it wasn't horrible. Starting a new job is never easy but for too long I used that as my excuse to stay where I knew I wasn't supposed to be. But now that I've made the leap, I can honestly say it wasn't so bad!
I don't think this is a permanent move for me but just enough to give me the courage to do what God wanted me to do. There is actually a company I am waiting to hear back from and I am so excited about that job so hopefully it becomes a reality. If not, it's only because that's not where God wants me. I've worked in that particular industry before and for a couple of years did a job so close to what I applied for that it's hard to imagine I won't at least get an interview! But, I keep praying that God will close any door I'm not supposed to walk through so I won't take it personally if it doesn't happen. Wow...even as I typed that I wondered "who are you talking about?" Hard to believe it's me.
But even in the midst of all this really positive stuff going on, I still had such a bout of such severe insecurity all I could do was cry. One of my first instincts was to pick up the phone and call my dad or just run over and talk to him. But I can't. I just desperately want him to know what's going on in my life and just hear his affirmation. It always meant the world to me.
This is where I must close. I have tons to do as I prepare for hosting my cousin's shower tomorrow and we have dinner plans tonight so no time for further musing.
I don't think this is a permanent move for me but just enough to give me the courage to do what God wanted me to do. There is actually a company I am waiting to hear back from and I am so excited about that job so hopefully it becomes a reality. If not, it's only because that's not where God wants me. I've worked in that particular industry before and for a couple of years did a job so close to what I applied for that it's hard to imagine I won't at least get an interview! But, I keep praying that God will close any door I'm not supposed to walk through so I won't take it personally if it doesn't happen. Wow...even as I typed that I wondered "who are you talking about?" Hard to believe it's me.
But even in the midst of all this really positive stuff going on, I still had such a bout of such severe insecurity all I could do was cry. One of my first instincts was to pick up the phone and call my dad or just run over and talk to him. But I can't. I just desperately want him to know what's going on in my life and just hear his affirmation. It always meant the world to me.
This is where I must close. I have tons to do as I prepare for hosting my cousin's shower tomorrow and we have dinner plans tonight so no time for further musing.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I Am Willing To....
Steve did a devotion a couple of weeks ago at the staff retreat that centered around the question, "what are you willing to do for God?" He went on to give several examples in scripture of what people were willing to do for God and then he further expounded on this in his blog entry last week. Since he did that so well, I won't even attempt to recap it here.
But, ever since that devotion I have been pondering that question as it relates to several things in my life right now. Am I willing to quit my job? Yep. Check. Am I willing to start a new job? Yep. Check. Am I willing to do another job that is new and requires more volunteer hours than paid hours? Yep. Check.
To make it even more personal, Steve posed this same question a few nights ago about our house. Historically I've refused, quite adamantly, to move. We felt from day one that God provided this house in a neighborhood and price that shouldn't have gone together. I'm still certain that is the case. But was it forever? Or temporary? So I asked him if moving meant I'd still have to work because if so...nope, not happening. But if we moved and I didn't have to work then I'd consider it. But that really wasn't the question. He simply asked, "are you willing to move? Period."
I'm not saying we are moving. I'm not assuming we won't either. It was simply a question to gauge where my heart is. The truth is if I'm not willing to give up my house if God wants me to, then it's likely an idol, and he may very well take it anyway. So, I think yesterday I got there. I want to be where God wants us and if this house isn't it, then let's go. It's really his house anyway and he can do with it whatever he wants. I've also accepted that there's a world of options between the house we currently live in and a box at the curb. A year ago I wasn't so sure.
I'm going to continue to ask myself this question because it's really important. What am I willing to do for God? What am I willing to give? What am I willing to give up?
What are you willing to do for God? Change jobs? Sell your house? Sell your car? Give 20%? Interesting to ponder, isn't it?
But, ever since that devotion I have been pondering that question as it relates to several things in my life right now. Am I willing to quit my job? Yep. Check. Am I willing to start a new job? Yep. Check. Am I willing to do another job that is new and requires more volunteer hours than paid hours? Yep. Check.
To make it even more personal, Steve posed this same question a few nights ago about our house. Historically I've refused, quite adamantly, to move. We felt from day one that God provided this house in a neighborhood and price that shouldn't have gone together. I'm still certain that is the case. But was it forever? Or temporary? So I asked him if moving meant I'd still have to work because if so...nope, not happening. But if we moved and I didn't have to work then I'd consider it. But that really wasn't the question. He simply asked, "are you willing to move? Period."
I'm not saying we are moving. I'm not assuming we won't either. It was simply a question to gauge where my heart is. The truth is if I'm not willing to give up my house if God wants me to, then it's likely an idol, and he may very well take it anyway. So, I think yesterday I got there. I want to be where God wants us and if this house isn't it, then let's go. It's really his house anyway and he can do with it whatever he wants. I've also accepted that there's a world of options between the house we currently live in and a box at the curb. A year ago I wasn't so sure.
I'm going to continue to ask myself this question because it's really important. What am I willing to do for God? What am I willing to give? What am I willing to give up?
What are you willing to do for God? Change jobs? Sell your house? Sell your car? Give 20%? Interesting to ponder, isn't it?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
What's Up With the Picture?
I was asked a couple weeks ago if there was a story attached to the picture on my blog. The answer is yes, there is.
A couple of months ago when we took Peter to the battlefield we spent quite a bit of time on the walking trails. In the midst of the normal prairie grass, Yucca plants, and other greenish-brownish native plants were some pretty amazingly colorful flowers. One of them is the flower you see in the picture. It looks pretty blue here but in reality it was more of a purplish-blue.
The significance is how well it goes with my title Hidden Treasures. There among the native grasses we discovered these unexpected treasures in the form of flowers. And so it is with many things in our lives. We plod along, day in and day out, never looking for and never seeing the little nuggets of treasure God has for us in each day.
So, that's the deal with the picture. It's a great representation of my blog title and small reminder to look for those hidden treasures reserved just for us. The longer I walk with God, the more I know they are there. I'm sure of it.
A couple of months ago when we took Peter to the battlefield we spent quite a bit of time on the walking trails. In the midst of the normal prairie grass, Yucca plants, and other greenish-brownish native plants were some pretty amazingly colorful flowers. One of them is the flower you see in the picture. It looks pretty blue here but in reality it was more of a purplish-blue.
The significance is how well it goes with my title Hidden Treasures. There among the native grasses we discovered these unexpected treasures in the form of flowers. And so it is with many things in our lives. We plod along, day in and day out, never looking for and never seeing the little nuggets of treasure God has for us in each day.
So, that's the deal with the picture. It's a great representation of my blog title and small reminder to look for those hidden treasures reserved just for us. The longer I walk with God, the more I know they are there. I'm sure of it.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Very Special Weekend
I've mentioned in previous posts how Labor Day Weekend has become very special for my family. Our Texas brother and his lovely wife made their way back to us here in Montana for the third annual trip. And my baby brother, along with his lovely wife, came down from Great Falls so we were all together and it was an amazing time.
Friday night began with a bonfire at Edward's but unfortunately Craig & Kayrene weren't able to make it in time for that (insert sobs here). On Saturday it was a lot of everybody doing a little of this and a little of that with whoever happened to be at mom's at the time. Sunday was by far the most special. We had a barbecue at my mom's followed by games and funny remembrances of dad.
Eight of us took part in a game of Taboo and it turned out to be just hilarious. Jeff was sitting between his wife and I and the word on his card was "curriculum". He started out by saying it was a Jewish tradition which really made me wonder where in the heck he was headed. Carolyn also appeared confused. He said a few more words and then Steve guessed "circumcision" and Jeff said "right" and brought up the next card. Carolyn grabbed the card and said "that's not what that word is!" and then proceeded to say what the right one was. We laughed so hard we had to stop the timer. It was all too much.
But for Steve and I an equally great part of the day came far earlier. Jeff and Carolyn joined us for church at Calvary. He was hoping to hear Steve preach but this was not one of those weeks. They came anyway, joining us first for Sunday School (which Steve does teach every week) and then church. It meant the world to us to have the support of someone we consider part of our family. I told Jeffrey thanks in person but again I want to express to you Jeff how much it impacted us. Thank you for lifting our spirits!
I don't have a lot of pictures of the weekend which is really unlike me but here are a few.
Peter insisting the fire was bright enough to justify sunglasses. He wasn't the only one - Shiela and Carolyn also had them on. As a side note, no, he doesn't always dress like the Hef -- he was wearing Edward's robe while waiting for his clothes to dry. He used his bottoms for the hot tub:
Edward chopping wood for the fire (that's my momma with him):
Steve and Erica (they're always good for a pic):
Last but certainly not least, Jeff and Carolyn:
Friday night began with a bonfire at Edward's but unfortunately Craig & Kayrene weren't able to make it in time for that (insert sobs here). On Saturday it was a lot of everybody doing a little of this and a little of that with whoever happened to be at mom's at the time. Sunday was by far the most special. We had a barbecue at my mom's followed by games and funny remembrances of dad.
Eight of us took part in a game of Taboo and it turned out to be just hilarious. Jeff was sitting between his wife and I and the word on his card was "curriculum". He started out by saying it was a Jewish tradition which really made me wonder where in the heck he was headed. Carolyn also appeared confused. He said a few more words and then Steve guessed "circumcision" and Jeff said "right" and brought up the next card. Carolyn grabbed the card and said "that's not what that word is!" and then proceeded to say what the right one was. We laughed so hard we had to stop the timer. It was all too much.
But for Steve and I an equally great part of the day came far earlier. Jeff and Carolyn joined us for church at Calvary. He was hoping to hear Steve preach but this was not one of those weeks. They came anyway, joining us first for Sunday School (which Steve does teach every week) and then church. It meant the world to us to have the support of someone we consider part of our family. I told Jeffrey thanks in person but again I want to express to you Jeff how much it impacted us. Thank you for lifting our spirits!
I don't have a lot of pictures of the weekend which is really unlike me but here are a few.
Peter insisting the fire was bright enough to justify sunglasses. He wasn't the only one - Shiela and Carolyn also had them on. As a side note, no, he doesn't always dress like the Hef -- he was wearing Edward's robe while waiting for his clothes to dry. He used his bottoms for the hot tub:
Edward chopping wood for the fire (that's my momma with him): Steve and Erica (they're always good for a pic): Last but certainly not least, Jeff and Carolyn:
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