Saturday, April 28, 2012
Moving the Blog....
I'm moving my blog for a very exciting reason....I am publishing my first book with Crossbooks and have created a website dedicated to this momentous occasion in my life.
So, join me at my new website where you'll find my blog, and coming soon, a page to purchase the book, Cries from the Barren Womb.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
A Welcome Home Opens Doors
In the past 5 or 6 weeks I was so encouraged and delighted by the same compliment from two different people.
It is really important to me that people feel comfortable in my home. I try really hard to make that happen. The biggest problem I have is that I set pretty high standards for myself so I constantly fret over whether my house is clean enough for others to feel comfortable in. Add to that the great difficulty I now have in keeping my house as clean as I would like and it's almost a recipe for disaster. I've begun to learn those are my quirks and most people don't hold me to such high standards, particularly not when gauging how comfortable they feel in my home, or anyone else's for that matter.
I want people to feel free to help themselves if they are thirsty or hungry. Not only does it let me off the hook to remember to ask and then wait on them hand and foot, it also allows them the freedom to choose and get what they want. So, we grant everyone "refrigerator rights" in our home. This is one of the greatest things I learned from my parents. Seriously, my mom fed anyone and everyone who was hungry or who walked through the door. My brothers always had stragglers with them at dinner time. They never once worried about the cost. They shared and there was always more than enough. I love that.
The most frequently asked question when people visit for the first time or two is, "do you want me to take my shoes off?" or "do I have to take my shoes off?" My answer is always the same...whatever makes them most comfortable is fine with me. Take them off, leave them on, it really makes no difference. I operate under the premise that people are smart enough to know when their shoes are dirty or muddy and will remove them accordingly. If not, the carpet gets a bit dirty and I clean it up. But they have their dignity. For some people, removing their shoes makes them extremely self-conscious. I don't necessarily understand that but having been told that, I know it's true. I've gone to visit people and as soon as the door is opened, they blurt out "take off your shoes!" I find this rude and offensive. It makes me want to turn around, get back in my car and drive away. I no longer want to visit them. I would so much rather hear a "hey, it's good to see you!" First of all, I am smart enough to know my shoes are dirty. Don't insult my intelligence. Second, how about caring more about people than stuff? In 20 years, what matters most - the precious, immaculate carpet or the fact that someone felt loved and welcome in your home? I choose the latter. Always.
So, when these 2 women, separately and days apart, told me they felt welcome in my home, I couldn't have been happier. On of them specifically said "thanks for making me feel like it was okay to leave my shoes on. I knew you were sincere and I felt no pressure to take them off, even though others had." For whatever reason, she felt more comfortable in her shoes than out of them and that's alright by me.
I was struck by the thought that how I treat people when they visit my home can really minister to them. Or it can turn them off. I want people to know that I will always choose to meet their need instead of caring about something getting dirty or ruined. Granted, I expect people to respect my belongings but accidents happen and it isn't the end of the world. I also want to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to me but I don't want it to become more important than the people He sends my way.
And so I will always strive to be welcoming, not so I can wear a badge of honor, but because I want to honor God in everything he has given me, including my house. From the way we ended up in this house, to the price we paid, to the location, there is no doubt God purposed for us to use it for ministry. And the center of all ministry is people, not carpet or furniture or a showplace where nobody feels comfortable. Including me.
It is really important to me that people feel comfortable in my home. I try really hard to make that happen. The biggest problem I have is that I set pretty high standards for myself so I constantly fret over whether my house is clean enough for others to feel comfortable in. Add to that the great difficulty I now have in keeping my house as clean as I would like and it's almost a recipe for disaster. I've begun to learn those are my quirks and most people don't hold me to such high standards, particularly not when gauging how comfortable they feel in my home, or anyone else's for that matter.
I want people to feel free to help themselves if they are thirsty or hungry. Not only does it let me off the hook to remember to ask and then wait on them hand and foot, it also allows them the freedom to choose and get what they want. So, we grant everyone "refrigerator rights" in our home. This is one of the greatest things I learned from my parents. Seriously, my mom fed anyone and everyone who was hungry or who walked through the door. My brothers always had stragglers with them at dinner time. They never once worried about the cost. They shared and there was always more than enough. I love that.
The most frequently asked question when people visit for the first time or two is, "do you want me to take my shoes off?" or "do I have to take my shoes off?" My answer is always the same...whatever makes them most comfortable is fine with me. Take them off, leave them on, it really makes no difference. I operate under the premise that people are smart enough to know when their shoes are dirty or muddy and will remove them accordingly. If not, the carpet gets a bit dirty and I clean it up. But they have their dignity. For some people, removing their shoes makes them extremely self-conscious. I don't necessarily understand that but having been told that, I know it's true. I've gone to visit people and as soon as the door is opened, they blurt out "take off your shoes!" I find this rude and offensive. It makes me want to turn around, get back in my car and drive away. I no longer want to visit them. I would so much rather hear a "hey, it's good to see you!" First of all, I am smart enough to know my shoes are dirty. Don't insult my intelligence. Second, how about caring more about people than stuff? In 20 years, what matters most - the precious, immaculate carpet or the fact that someone felt loved and welcome in your home? I choose the latter. Always.
So, when these 2 women, separately and days apart, told me they felt welcome in my home, I couldn't have been happier. On of them specifically said "thanks for making me feel like it was okay to leave my shoes on. I knew you were sincere and I felt no pressure to take them off, even though others had." For whatever reason, she felt more comfortable in her shoes than out of them and that's alright by me.
I was struck by the thought that how I treat people when they visit my home can really minister to them. Or it can turn them off. I want people to know that I will always choose to meet their need instead of caring about something getting dirty or ruined. Granted, I expect people to respect my belongings but accidents happen and it isn't the end of the world. I also want to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to me but I don't want it to become more important than the people He sends my way.
And so I will always strive to be welcoming, not so I can wear a badge of honor, but because I want to honor God in everything he has given me, including my house. From the way we ended up in this house, to the price we paid, to the location, there is no doubt God purposed for us to use it for ministry. And the center of all ministry is people, not carpet or furniture or a showplace where nobody feels comfortable. Including me.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Perfection....
In the past couple of weeks I've had the oddest "ah-ha" moments over truths that are not really that profound but they struck me with such awareness I was forced to stop and contemplate the strangeness of such things.
First, somebody posted something like this on Facebook "if Jesus hadn't been crucified, raised to life and then ascended, He'd still be alive today." WOW. In my entire life that had never crossed my mind. Not one single time. Sin is what leads to death (both physical and spiritual) so having never sinned, Jesus would still be alive. That's one of those things that can drive a mind circularly crazy! Yet it's comforting and encouraging at the same time.
The second comes with a bit of a story. Last week Steve and I were having a conversation related to several things someone had said to me that were extremely unkind, unloving and completely out of line. I was trying to process the entire conversation and while I'm sure Steve would rather have been about anywhere else at that point, he simply stayed put and listened.
J: It's not like God expects her, or anyone else, to be perfect anyway.
S: Actually, Julie, that's not true. (At that I jerked my head in his direction and stared directly into his eyes as I knew more was coming.)
J: Please, go on.
S: God does expect us to be perfect. If that weren't true, Jesus would not have had to die. Perfection is the goal, God just knows we are unable to reach it. So there is grace, mercy and forgiveness.
I'm still nearly speechless over that conversation. Obviously not completely or you would not be reading these words right now. That is not horribly out of left field or pulled from the "land of profoundness". It's the basic premise of the gospel. I've heard it a million times, just not in this way. Steve frequently does this to me.
That thought is causing me to look at a whole litany of things differently. How would my actions, reactions and words be displayed if I was focusing on perfection rather than focusing on knowing I will fall short? I believe there is a stark contrast between striving hard for the goal even if I don't attain it, versus settling for less, knowing I have a way out. Don't get me wrong. I am EXTREMELY grateful for mercy, grace and forgiveness for without them I would be eternally lost. And it is no secret to anyone, particularly myself, that I am far removed from perfection.
But in my every day living and decision making, perhaps I would be miles ahead if I focused on doing the perfect thing in the first place. Even if I fall short, I am covered. But on those occasions I don't? I am favored and blessed.
First, somebody posted something like this on Facebook "if Jesus hadn't been crucified, raised to life and then ascended, He'd still be alive today." WOW. In my entire life that had never crossed my mind. Not one single time. Sin is what leads to death (both physical and spiritual) so having never sinned, Jesus would still be alive. That's one of those things that can drive a mind circularly crazy! Yet it's comforting and encouraging at the same time.
The second comes with a bit of a story. Last week Steve and I were having a conversation related to several things someone had said to me that were extremely unkind, unloving and completely out of line. I was trying to process the entire conversation and while I'm sure Steve would rather have been about anywhere else at that point, he simply stayed put and listened.
J: It's not like God expects her, or anyone else, to be perfect anyway.
S: Actually, Julie, that's not true. (At that I jerked my head in his direction and stared directly into his eyes as I knew more was coming.)
J: Please, go on.
S: God does expect us to be perfect. If that weren't true, Jesus would not have had to die. Perfection is the goal, God just knows we are unable to reach it. So there is grace, mercy and forgiveness.
I'm still nearly speechless over that conversation. Obviously not completely or you would not be reading these words right now. That is not horribly out of left field or pulled from the "land of profoundness". It's the basic premise of the gospel. I've heard it a million times, just not in this way. Steve frequently does this to me.
That thought is causing me to look at a whole litany of things differently. How would my actions, reactions and words be displayed if I was focusing on perfection rather than focusing on knowing I will fall short? I believe there is a stark contrast between striving hard for the goal even if I don't attain it, versus settling for less, knowing I have a way out. Don't get me wrong. I am EXTREMELY grateful for mercy, grace and forgiveness for without them I would be eternally lost. And it is no secret to anyone, particularly myself, that I am far removed from perfection.
But in my every day living and decision making, perhaps I would be miles ahead if I focused on doing the perfect thing in the first place. Even if I fall short, I am covered. But on those occasions I don't? I am favored and blessed.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Considering Whether I Can Consider It Joy
I'm only on my second week of a new Bible study and it is seriously tearing my heart into a million pieces. It's a study on the book of James and honestly if I wasn't leading the group, I would be so tempted to quit. It is seriously in my business and my inclination is to run....as far as I can and as fast as I can. Yet I don't feel like that is an option. It is no accident that I am in this study, at this exact time, for a very specific purpose.
The verses we are on this week come from James 1:2-3. "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance."
In this day's homework we were to think about a current trial we are facing. That part is super easy for me. I didn't even have to think about it. Almost as if on auto-pilot, my left hand picked up the pen and wrote "my diseases." The challenge was to name three different things I could do with what I'm going through and was further challenged to consider making one of those options to obey James 1:2. Consider it joy? Are you kidding me? I decided to play by the rules in spite of my initial reaction.
Considering it joy is one of the options I contemplated. After identifying the other two, I then had to list the fruit of each decision and what I believe the 5-year ramifications could / would be. As I pondered each one it dawned on me that regardless of what I choose, there is no guarantee or even a hint that I will be healed at the end of it. That thought added an entirely new dimension to my decision making.
Yesterday was EXCRUCIATING for my soul. It was almost too much for me to bear. I wept as I thought about the consequences of a wrong decision.
Tonight I shared all of this with Steve. I am suddenly aware that if I don't bring a few trusted people into this battle with me I am going to lose. I am fighting for my faith and not faring well going solo. It was through many tears and long pauses that I finally managed to get it out. I absolutely know what I should do but it is not what I want to do. I know all the right answers.
So much is at stake in my battle, just as is true for the battles you face. Tonight I am reminded of the following:
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." ~ James 4:17
Of course that verse is in James. This book and this study are going to completely break me. I suppose that is the purpose.
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