The Ice Bucket

No doubt I have a post in me about my vacation reflections but in an effort to catch up, collect my thoughts, and still change the post immediately, I'll share a quick story about Peter and the ice bucket.

The first night we were in the hotel Peter and I went to get ice. That in and of itself was a mildly funny journey but not the best part. We finally locate ice, some bottled lemonade, and get back to our rooms. About 10 minutes later Peter called to see if we wanted to play a game to which we said yes so he and grandma came over with Yahtzee and their ice bucket. Strange, no?

My mom then told me that Peter sat in the chair with the ice bucket in his lap, opened the lemonade, and proceeded to pour the entire bottle of lemonade into the ice bucket! She asked what he was doing and he looked up at her seemingly surprised that she would even ask. Well, isn't it obvious? I mean, really, who doesn't pour their drink into the ice bucket?

As she relayed the story I was in complete hysterics and Peter looked at me with the cutest face and said "What? Well, I didn't know!" Oh, sweet pea, that's the funniest part of all! And as we played the game, he went to the ice bucket to scoop out his lemonade, one glass at a time.

Anniversary

I feel very fortunate to be celebrating our 19th anniversary today. In retrospect we've made it this far because of God's protection. We were so young and so clueless yet here we are. I think if Erica got married in 2 years I'd freak out and now I get why my parents had reservations! They had nothing against Steve except that we were "too young". Maybe ignorance really is bliss.

We had our official celebration last night because we had a church potluck and meeting tonight. We went to our favorite restaurant (Enzo) and of course had a fabulous dinner. But the conversation was really the intriguing part. Steve asked me a couple of "did you think we'd be here, or doing this, or have done that at this point in our lives?" And my answer to each question was "no". My life is seriously not at all like I had planned or what I expected. This is not necessarily a bad thing but just a reminder that ultimately I am not in as much control as I'd like to believe I am. Things have happened to us that we didn't cause and couldn't help -- life just does that sometimes. But we're okay, actually better than okay, we're great. It reminds me of a quote I read on a billboard about 6 months ago, "when we make plans, God laughs".

I attribute much of our marital success to the patience and endurance of my better half. I know for certain there were times in the last 19 years that I would've left myself had that been possible. And yet he chose at each turn to stay and to love me when I couldn't even like myself. He's amazing and I can honestly say that I am more in love with him today than I was 19 years ago. Our "secret" is not really a secret at all. We individually put our relationships with Jesus first and each other second. By growing closer to Christ we naturally grow closer together. As long as those relationships stay in that order and no other relationship is pushed before these 2, we'll always be great.

We're heading out tomorrow and now that the house is clean and the bags are packed, I can relax and get excited. I wish you all a great week!

Vacation

I love vacation! It doesn't matter where I go, I just love to see new places, new cultures, and experience a few days (weeks or months....aaahhh...if only) outside of my regular life. Don't get me wrong -- I love home too but being able to take a vacation is a breath of fresh air and makes the sometimes-routine-life bearable.

I'm getting ready to go on vacation next week and find it really hard to concentrate today. My mind is quickly checking out in spite of the fact that I still have several things to accomplish at work today. I'm looking forward to this vacation but not with the same zest as I usually do. Yes, it is a new place, and yes, I'm sure it will be fun....BUT....it's not where I wanted to go. Honestly I've not been that gracious about it either. I want what I want, when I want it. Anyone relate? I seem to still be in denial about my pay cut last year and that we can't be as extravagant every year as we used to be. God has provided completely for every single need and many of my wants this last year but I want more -- I want what I used to have and I'm having a hard time being content without it. No doubt that is the lesson I'm supposed to be learning!

I should be utterly grateful for the chance to get away and go anywhere because many can't go -- either for financial reasons or physical reasons, and yet here I am mumbling about it. I frustrate myself! I know I'm being self-centered and half the time that really doesn't bother me. I find myself bothered by not being bothered.....

I'm choosing to go anyway and I know it'll be a great time. This is the first time we're taking our nephew, Peter and he is so excited it's hard not to be giddy around him. Many of you know we started taking our niece Erica with us when she was about the same age as Peter so it's only fair he gets to go once in a while too. They really make it lots of fun and to be able to share one of my passions with them is unbelievably exciting. I hope they catch it too -- and then I hope they take me as the years pass:)

Choosing is the key word for today. Basing life on emotions makes for an out-of-control roller coaster ride, that much I know from experience! We choose to love when we don't feel like it, we choose to serve when we don't feel like it, and we choose to do what's right when it's hard. Life is all about choices, not feelings. My feelings steer me wrong every time, and yours will do the same to you too.

Life is Not Fair

Today's words are more for me than anyone else but in my on-again-off-again struggle trying to figure out why some people seemingly "have it all" while I am more deficient than not, I thought perhaps you may benefit from this statement written by Dave Branon.

"We are not the arbiters of fairness. God is, and He knows far more than we do about His plans and purposes. The question isn't about fairness. In the end, it's about trust in a faithful God who knows what He is doing."

For me, today stinks -- yesterday did too -- tomorrow's not looking good either. I could fill up 3 paragraphs with all the "why" questions I have but because they are intensely personal (and probably immature), I will not. However, if like me you are asking yourself a bunch of "why" questions, maybe this little quote will push you over the top. Not working for me yet but who knows, right?

The Light Side

Man, I just realized how wordy most of my posts are so I will try to be more cognizant of that and cut them down or at least intersperse them with short ones.

There is a business I pass occasionally and on their front sign is usually some catchy little phrase or saying. One day when I passed by, the words below were on it; I don't know who the author is but it was one of those things that made me go "ah-ha, so TRUE!"

"Opportunity knocks but once; adversity is far more persistent."

Friends

Last week the boys had a friend staying with us (Kaycee) and it gave me cause to think about friends, both current and past, and the different kinds of friends I've had over the years. Before I share my reflections, I want you to know how incredibly difficult this picture was to take! We'd get one or two to sit but the 3rd, NO WAY! First Jake started growling and his hair stood up so we moved him for a second; then Kaycee decided she could move too, then Sam. It was challenging to say the least....so, at least pretend to enjoy it, okay?

My first reflection is how easily some friends come and go. When I'm in the season of life where they are truly friends I hang out with, I wonder how I managed without them. And then they're gone -- guess what? I CAN go on without them. I call these my "seasonal" friends.

Then there are what I call "low-level" friends meaning when we're at the same event we enjoy spending time together, laugh, and chat, but we never really talk on the phone or hang out together. These friends are necessary and are so easy, but they are surface. We exchange funny stories but I would never feel I could really open up or share anything deep with them.

Next I have "mid-level" friends. These relationships are half way between low and high level (thus the very creative name). They are a bit deeper, I talk to them occasionally by phone or e-mail, get together with them outside the norm every now and again, and they have impacted me in some way. There is not any real accountability and while we share in each other's lives, it is not soul bearing.

My last kind of friends are truly the most cherished, my "high-level" friends. These are girls I can call in the middle of the night, we share accountability, and we are deeply involved in each other's lives. I absolutely adore these women. These kind of friends are few and far between and these friendships are hard! They require work, forgiveness, and complete vulnerability. These are the women who aren't afraid to tell you "it's not about you", "get over youself", and yet you take it from them because you know they love you. In turn, you reciprocate out of love. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have 2 or 3 of these -- remember, I said they are RARE, and I am not kidding. I always laugh, a bit nervously, as one of these women will start a conversation with "you know I love you, right?" Uh-Oh... confrontation coming! But it's okay, because I probably need a kick in the pants and she really does care about what happens to me. These friendships take a long time to develop and require complete trust. They're not always local either; they may be easier if you're in the same town but this is not at all crucial. It doesn't matter what form they come in, all that matters is that we need them. Desperately.

The truth is we need all of these kinds of friends. If you're single they're crucial and if you're married they're crucial. Women need friends because we are so relational -- and by having them, it allows us to let the guys in our lives off the hook. Husbands can't fulfill our need for women friends and it's crazy to assume they can.

I truly hope you have all of these types of friends in your life and you're working towards building those high-level friendships. The few lemons you might get along the way are worth it when you find the 1 or 2 you know you can trust -- always, with anything.

I love all my friends and I am so grateful to have some in every category. It hasn't always been that way and it ebbs and flows but what great gifts "our girls" are! I can't imagine having trod these past 2 years with so much loss and change as a lone ranger.

Honoring Dad

As I type this, my dad has been in Heaven for 14 months. I tried very hard not to have unrealistic expectations of the "first year" stuff but as it turns out, I seem to have inadvertently allowed myself to be drawn into that cycle. We made it through the first holidays, birthdays, Father's Day, and I thought there would be a noticeable difference in how much I missed him. Wrong! I miss him just as much on this 2nd Father's Day as I did on the first -- maybe more.

I think about him all the time, cry as freely as I did a year ago, and it's all strangely comforting to be able to do so. So much of who I am, how I think, and how I approach life is from his influence. He was amazing; gentle, kind, patient, loving, and the list goes on. He exuded a calmness and peacefulness. Everyone loved him. While I knew all this about my dad, his funeral was a confirmation of how many lives he touched, how loved he was, and I was in awe at the different types of people who came out to celebrate his life and support us. There were people there from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich; white collar, blue collar, different classes -- dad definitely didn't discriminate. He treated everyone the same and showed them he truly cared about them. He was a walking, talking, living example of the gospel of Christ. I don't think he could've left a better legacy than that.

I am profoundly grateful to have had him as my dad. He was my biggest cheerleader and I felt like I could accomplish anything, be anything, and go anywhere because he believed in me. I remember him telling me after my muscular dystrophy diagnosis that the only limits I had were self-imposed. Much of the last year I have felt limited, as if there's so many things I can't do now that he's gone. It was just a couple months ago when I had this epiphany that such attitudes are in stark contrast to how dad would want me to live. He would be horrified if I stopped pursuing my hopes and dreams based on the fact that he is gone. He always said life was for the living and that statement, while so simple, is truly profound. The best way I can honor my dad is to set my sights high, continue to dream and live my life to the fullest. Every day I have is a gift and what a shame it would be to waste a single one as I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

When I spoke at dad's funeral I ended by sharing a piece of wisdom from my dad. About a year before he died I stopped by to visit. He was working in the garage so before I went in the house I stopped to chat with him. He commented that the next week would be his dad's birthday. I asked him if he still missed his dad (he died when my dad was just 17 so it had been 45 years) and was surprised that after all those years the answer was still yes. He went on to say "Jury, you never really get over the death of a parent. But as the years pass, the sadness is replaced by all the fond memories." So I chose a year ago, and I choose again today to believe my dad because never once in my life did he give me bad advice. (side note - NO, I did not misspell my name; that is just something my dad called me, actually it was usually Jury-Jury!)

As I close, I encourage all of you who still have your dad to seize the day and let them know what they mean to you. And to my dad, I say thanks -- for so many things but mostly for loving me, loving my mom, creating a safe and happy childhood, laughing with me, crying with me, encouraging me, and for raising me with a knowledge of who Jesus is and his sacrifice for me. By being the kind of dad you were, it was easy for me to realize God is a Father I can trust with my life.

I love you deeply and miss you every day. Happy Father's Day dad.

Simplicity

This picture always makes me smile and often makes me laugh. I actually have it as the wallpaper on my phone. I love to have the front door of my house open to let in the light – it’s cheery, welcoming, and just plain homey. As you can see, Jake and Sam like it too. The problem is that Jake barks at anything and everything as he looks out -- cars driving by, rabbits across the street or in the yard, people walking by, leaves blowing by, you name it, he’s telling it who's boss. Seriously, it drives me crazy and while we’re working on it, sometimes I just have to close the door.

The word that comes to mind when I look at this picture is “simplicity”. The boys don’t have any complexity in their dog lives. Maybe that’s why it seems to me they enjoy all the simple little pleasures. A walk? Love it, let’s go! A ride? It doesn't get any better than that! You’re home? Yeah, somebody to play with me! An open door? Woo Hoo! Apparently I speak and understand “dog”:)

There’s nothing magical about the open door, nothing sophisticated, and certainly nothing complex about it. Yet I find myself happy and content looking out that open door and remembering the days of simplicity in my life. At what point did simple become bad? Was it really even a conscious decision? I definitely don’t remember deciding one day to make things more complicated but in the end I find that I have. I look around wondering what I can eliminate from my house, my car, my office, and my life that will simplify things once again. Why do we have to pack our calendars with activities to feel fulfilled? Is it just to brag about how busy we are? To feel important? To avoid something else we don’t want to focus on? And the questions go on….

I hope you contemplate these questions with me. We aren’t designed to be too busy for relationships; we’re designed for relationships. Life comes to us just once, this minute won’t be back, and opportunities are flying by. So it makes sense to live in and treasure this moment. Enjoy sitting in front of an open door and relax while the world plods on… Lie in the grass and identify cloud-pictures… Sip lemonade while taking in the aroma of freshly cut grass… Read a book for fun…Sit side-by-side with a friend, just because...

Things I Like About Me

I finished my Bible study lesson for the week yesterday, increasingly disgruntled at the "in my business" questions I had to answer. There was one question that was unbelievably easy followed by one that caused me to sit there for the longest time and ponder it. The first one was to think about someone I care about and write down only the things I appreciated about them right then. I had at least 10 people that came to mind in seconds and I could have written about them for quite a while. Then came the next question....."Do the same for yourself. What do you like about you?"

UGH...the only great part about that question is that there was no number association such as "what 10 things do you like about you?" That would've sent me over the edge. I don't know why that question is hard to answer. Part of it is pride -- I don't like regurgitating how great I think I am. But part of it, honestly, is that I don't think I'm that great anyway. So as I battled this in my brain I decided the latter is really the most true. Undoubtedly I have things I tend to be proud about but interestingly enough, most don't have a single thing to do with me specifically. I managed to jot down a few things but was left with the aching questions "why is this so hard for me? Am I EVER going to move past this?"

Granted, I've come a long way in this journey but this week's lesson was a reminder for me that I'm not there yet. Where does my value lie? Better yet, in whom does it lie? If I'm trying to find it in anything physical, I will always feel empty. It's when I realize the spiritual battle behind such questions that I find the true source of the problem, and also the answer. My value is not in me (HALLELUJAH!) but in Christ.

In our current sermon series we're in 1 Peter and this week contained 2 of the verses I have clung to over the past few years. It's no coincidence that all these came together for me this week -- I don't believe in coincidence anyway. I used these verses in a talk I did a few years ago and I believe them as much today as I did then; I just need to be as diligent about meditating on them as I used to be.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (emphasis mine)

John Adams Quote

On February 22, 1756, John Adams made the entry in his diary:

"Suppose a nation in some distant Region should take the Bible for their only law Book, and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited! Every member would be obliged in conscience, to temperance, frugality, and industry; to justice, kindness, and charity towards his fellow men; and to piety, love, and reverence toward Almighty God … What a Eutopia, what a Paradise would this region be."

I'm awestruck as I read and re-read that. So I share it as a reminder of the character of the men who founded our country, what they believed, and what their intent was in the writing of the Declaration of Independence. How far we've fallen -- and all under the guise of progress and enlightment.

Ride-Along

Yesterday was such a fun, fun day! I did a "ride-along" with Steve as he patrolled and the whole experience was exciting and just plain fun. Of course any day I can spend with Steve is a great day because we really don't get that many. As a matter of fact, 3 weeks ago I had a mild (yeah, sure, mild) meltdown because our lives have never returned to "normal" since he returned from his deployment last June. The dynamic of what we used to know is no more -- my job was gone, my dad was gone, and Steve was called to ministry. It's been crazy and I realized 3 weeks ago that we had not had 1 single day alone together since he returned. Not 1. No wonder I was sad, lonely, and feeling left out. So we made a date and spent a Saturday going to the art museum (Looney Tunes exhibit!), the Western Heritage Center, and lunched at a cafe downtown after a brief detour in an antique shop. It was FANTASTIC!

But, enough of the rabbit trail....back to yesterday. Had I known I would enjoy myself so much, I would've done it long ago! The reason I didn't is so stupid I won't even tell you what it is -- you'll just have to trust me. He picked me up after briefing, around 7 a.m. and we got our first official call at 8. I was so excited I had butterflies in my stomach to which Steve responded "You're SUCH a NERD!" Then we had several others and managed to dig up a few opportunities to check things out. Granted, he afforded me a little more liberty than other passengers but he also put me to work. You would not believe the petty little things people find in which to call in law enforcement. It's both amusing and sad. It also gives me even more insight to what these guys deal with every day. Of course I had ideas because I hear the stories first-hand but to experience it was something completely different. I also noticed that a LOT, and I mean a LOT of people wave to Steve every day. It's like he's their friend, and surely they are comforted by his appearance on the roads. And when we took a break for breakfast, there was just a command of presence when he walked through the restaurant (this part I am used to because when he's in his Marine Officer dress blues we get the same reaction). People nodded, waved, and even came to the table to talk to him. I had no idea.

I didn't make the full 12 hours only because he had hospital duty for the last 3 but I made it 8 1/2 and am so glad I did. So the next time you see one of our boys in gray, or blue, or brown, give 'em a break, give them the benefit of the doubt, and say thanks. Even when they pull you over, it's their job, it's thankless, and you probably deserved it! If they're like Steve, they do it out of a sense of responsibility to their community and their desire to help people. That in and of itself is admirable.

Think Before Speaking

I got home Wednesday night just after 9 p.m. completely agitated, irritated, and frustrated. The day was long, I was tired, and completely overwhelmed. I had (and still do) a list of things about a mile long undone. And worse yet, not a lot of time to complete my list. As it was, I knew I had yet to make the filling for 2 pies for Bible study. Fortunately I had the time and foresight to make the crusts the night before.

As I walked in the house I smelled a pie crust baking. There Steve sat on the sofa and I asked "why do I smell pie crust?" He told me there had been an "accident" with the pie crust I had made the night before so he had to make another one. Knowing I had yet to make the filling, he decided to do one of them for me to help me out. BUT, he poured it in the wrong crust (one was regular, the other graham cracker). So after putting it in the right one, the other crust was unusable and he made a new one. Instead of being utterly grateful for the help, I became more frustrated, mostly because it was "my job" and I felt like I was failing -- at being a wife, keeping my house orderly, balancing my checkbook, my day job, basically I wasn't being Super Woman all that well.

I took my frustrations out on the one person who hadn't caused any of them and within minutes, was completely ashamed of my behavior. No, the pie crust didn't have the pretty little border but so what? I can now only imagine my irritation if he wouldn't have done anything and I ended up making one myself at 9:30 at night! To top it off, he ran to the store for me when I discovered I was missing an ingredient. I felt like a schmuck (sp?). No, I was a schmuck. To all the things I had yet to do, the frustration I was already feeling, now I could add guilt and shame. I quickly apologized and he graciously forgave me but I was left standing there wishing I could rewind an hour and do it again. But I couldn't.

This was yet just one more reminder for me why it's important to THINK before I speak -- to really ponder what the ripple effect of my words will be, and learn to keep it to myself if more harm will be done than good. Fortunately this time I blabbed in the direction of someone who loves me no matter what and is quick to overlook it but next time that may not be the case. I am reminded today of the words of one of the wisest men to ever walk the planet, Solomon. I will leave you with those but not before the postscript -- at Bible study last night 2 people commented that the pie crust (Steve's) tasted so good......HHHMMM, it didn't even have a pretty border.....

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Daniel Boone

Anyone who has ever taken a history class has heard of Daniel Boone (1734-1820). No doubt he was fascinating. He's an American icon -- pioneer and hunter. He's sometimes remembered more for the tall tales than about his real life but nevertheless, he was quite accomplished.

Most notably he explored and blazed a trail through the Cumberland Gap into Kentucky which was outside the 13 colonies. He opened the doorway, so to speak, and hundreds of thousands followed after him to settle before the close of the 18th century. But did you know he was also a militia officer in the Revolutionary War, captured by the Shawnees, and adopted into their tribe? He later escaped and went on to defend the settlelments in Kentucky. In the years after the war he deepened in debt and eventually settled in Missouri where he spent his final years. (NOTE: this is a small recap of the life and times of Daniel Boone - there is much more to the story if you're so inclined to study him.)

As fascinating as all that is, I found a sentence he wrote in a letter to Sarah Boone in October 1816 even better, mostly because it provides insight to his character (thanks to Steve for introducing me to this quote):

"The religion I have is to love and fear God, believe in Jesus Christ, do all the good to my neighbor, and myself that I can, do as little harm as I can help, and trust on God’s mercy for the rest."

Lighthouses

As you might conclude from my blog background, I absolutely love lighthouses. I never really thought much about them until we spent 3 years stationed with the Marine Corps in coastal North Carolina. On some of our discovery road trips we visited the vast array of lighthouses in that area and I found myself more and more intrigued. As a matter of fact I grew so attached to their purpose that I had a bedroom decorated with "all things lighthouse". During that time I encountered a picture that initially I just liked but the more it hung on the wall, the more I began to adore it. I came to realize the spiritual symbolism and now I can't get it out of my mind (not that I want to).

Many of you have probably seen this picture as it comes in a couple of different forms. It's got a lighthouse (duh!) and the waves are just crashing around it in the midst of an enormous storm. The sky is ominously black and you can see the light at the top shining out into the sea. Can you imagine the relief of a ship's crew as they're caught in that storm and they finally see that light directing them to safety? I can almost hear the cheers on the ship as they realize all is not lost.

I've felt the same way. As I look at that picture, the memories pour in of my times in the waves -- those times when I'm tossed to and fro, drowning, utterly unable to help myself. And then I see the Light, Jesus, and and his hand extended out to me. I can hear him through his word saying "you're alright, just take my hand." And when I do, he sometimes leads, but more often carries me to the landing. Sometimes the waves stop but frequently they don't; it's my position that changes. I'm safe. Security is mine because of the grace of God.

I'll close today with a couple pictures of lighthouses we've visited over the years; the first is in North Carolina; the second is in Maine. If you take a good look at the second one, you'll see a second lighthouse in the background -- we'll call it a 2-for-1!

Spiritual Lessons from a dog

If nothing else, the title intrigued you enough to want to read this, right? You'll probably read many references to "the boys" -- in this case my 2 dogs (pictured to the left). Jake is the little white Pekingese and Sam is the ever-growing Golden Retriever whom I often refer to as "the big oaf". These 2 are absolutely hilarious and one of the reasons is because Jake, at 10 pounds, is the boss of Sam or at least he thinks so. I call this the "little dog complex". Sam, at 50+ pounds not only allows this (let's be honest, I kind of make him!) but he thinks he's a lap dog too and doesn't seem to realize he can take on the little dude and win. I attribute this to the fact that he's always been around Jake so that's all he knows.

As some of you know, Sam is the dog Steve got himself for my birthday. At least that's my story. A puppy of any size is a lot of work but it seems this one is particularly naughty. My other dogs have been small and probably stayed out of some trouble simply because they couldn't reach it. We find the most frequent words around our house are "Sam, no!"; "Sam, down!"; "Sam, leave Jake alone". This morning as I pulled Sam off the sofa for the 100th time, I remembered something he did a month ago that was both hilarious and came with a spiritual reminder. (I think he wants to be on the furniture so desperately because Jake is allowed and since he doesn't realize he's HUGE, he thinks he can too; and he's so persistent.) So, one night as I was making dinner, Jake starts growling and, assuming they're about to get into a rumble, I went to the living room to find Sam on the sofa -- apparently Jake's growling was his way of "telling on" him. Sam had his head buried in the corner as if by doing so I wouldn't notice he was there. I said "Sam, I can totally see your big ol' bum sticking in the air!" He didn't move. I tapped him on the shoulder and he lifted his head around and rested it on the back of the sofa as if to say "What? Who, me?" Then he just stared at me with those big, sad eyes. He refused to get off so I had to pull him off and as I did so, I thought "Man, that's just like me with God."

How so? Well, often he tells me to do something and I don't -- or he tells me not to do something (as in this case) and I do it anyway and then hide my head. As if he can't see my big ol' bum sticking in the air. Can anyone relate? In case you're wondering I'm not referring to the big ol' bum here:) Then he has to say "Julie, I can totally see you there. Hiding your head might mean you can't see me, but I can certainly see you. Come on out and let's deal with this." And so I do. Then we deal with it and move on -- and he remembers my sin no more. How awesome is that?

I'll leave you with the promise backing up my last statement, found in Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Anyone want to say AMEN?

Where to start?

I have a million ideas running through my head about what I could write and can't figure out the best place to start. It seems like every idea needs background in order for it to make sense. Short of recreating my entire journal I don't know what to do!

So, I'll start with current events and try to weave important details so it makes sense! Last night was the first "official" step in a new journey and since it was the catapult for my blog, I'll start there.

Steve was licensed to the ministry! It was a short, simple part of a bigger service last night but nonetheless a starting point of a new direction and journey for us. He e-mailed me from the deserts of deployment just over a year ago telling me God called him to ministry and upon his return began months of counseling with Pastor P (unless otherwise given permission, I'll refrain from using names). So, you ask me, what exactly does this mean? We keep serving and teaching until God tells us otherwise AKA not real sure yet!

I've got a few pics so once I get a chance to look at them, I may just download one or two.

Let the excitement begin!

I'm unbelievably excited as I post my first blog! God has done much in my life over the past few years and sharing those experiences is not only a way for me to grow but I've been told along the way that others have benefited from my transparency, vulnerability, and insight. I've come to realize that when I have a particular struggle, others do too. Why do we keep our journeys private, hide in shame, and refuse to let others learn our lessons with us or help us through it? Two answers that come immediately to mind are pride and society -- to admit we need help or we've failed are considered weaknesses and we have bought into the "lone ranger" mentality that is both destructive and condemning. I believe God wants us to travel together, to laugh, to cry, and to be accountable.

My hope is that in sharing my experiences, others will be encouraged, uplifted, gain strength to go on, and be pointed to the Cross of Christ. Often my life is a cartoon or sitcom and I will share those hilarious times with you; but sometimes it's heartbreaking, lonely, and rough -- those experiences will not be left out though identifying details will be. To leave out the bad would not paint a realistic picture of what life on earth is about and it is these times that make me long for Heaven.