Bible study was really amazing last night...until we finished the video and it was my turn to step up as leader / teacher. Don't get me wrong -- I was completely prepared. The problem was in my sudden lack of ability to speak properly.
Since we're studying pilgrimage and the Psalms of Ascent, it was fitting to begin our discussion time by having everyone share a place they want to visit someday. I got to the last woman whose name is Val. Out of my mouth pops "Vail" and as if that weren't bad enough, I used 2 syllables and out popped this southern accent. I thought to myself "What the heck?!?" What, was I retrieving my short stint in the south? The other day I said fixin' as in "I'm fixin' to do something." Everyone laughed.....and laughed some more. UGH.
Then it was my turn to share and I said "Bora Bora". One of the ladies asked where that was. I said "Tahita". What?!?! Tahita? Of course I know it's Tahiti. Again, much laughter. What was next - yeller (as in yellow)? Montaner (some people say Montana that way)?
But the worst was yet to come. We finished out discussion time on physical pilgrimage and I turned to our spiritual pilgrimages. What would they pack? Be creative, it doesn't have to fit in a suitcase! Finally one person said "other people". Very good. Exactly where I wanted to go. We moved on to some practical things we can do or use on our journey. We turned to Philippians 3. In verse 17 Paul told the Philippians to follow his example (see, taking people along). I paused and told the women it was important for them to have someone in their life who is more spiritually mature than they are. This is all great stuff, right out of scripture. But then I added "it shouldn't be hard for any one of you to find someone more spiritually mature than you are." There it was.
I didn't intend to call them spiritual babies but as soon as I finished my sentence, that is sure how it sounded to my own ears. I could tell I was really red because the heat from my face started to melt the amplifiers on the stage. Even as I stammered out "no, no, no girls! I didn't mean it that way!" they busted a gut laughing. I was horrified but they did allow me to interpret for myself. They went on to understand completely what I was saying.
The truth is, when you talk as much as I do, you're bound to stick your foot in your mouth a lot. What really matters is what I do right after that. Do I just pretend it didn't happen? Or do I acknowledge it and do my best to plow through? It's probably a bad idea to ignore it. In this case I would have insulted 11 women...and some would never have gotten past it. Some still might not but at least I can walk away knowing I did everything possible to make it right.
The funny things is, I am always nervous when I lead Bible study. I posted about this a few weeks back. The rest of story is that in the video session, Beth Moore went on to say she had a friend who told her "you're not good enough to mess God up!" Given my performance last night, all I can say is AMEN and AMEN! As an aside, it's hard to believe someone like Beth Moore gets nervous before she speaks isn't it? What a strange way for me to be comforted, yet I am.
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