Similar Struggles

I think we all have at least 1 thing in our lives we need to be aware of because of the likelihood for spiritual attack and struggle. For a long time I've thought every single one was different and while that may be true of the subject matter, the concept is the same. And in the end we need to be on constant watch because it's that one area (or one of a few) that always causes us to stumble, is an Achilles heel for Satan, and because of the emotions involved, can throw us into a pit faster than we realize.

It could be a myriad of things but I think for most women it takes the form of marriage, babies, self-image, or jealousy. Intellectually I know it is a lack of contentment for where God has me at any given stage. But that certainly doesn't make it any easier. For example, I have a friend who desperately wants to be married. God hasn't brought that guy into her life yet. Frequently this torments her. Conversely, I have a friend who would love a house but for now, God has them in an apartment. And she's okay with it. She has said "when God wants me to have a house, He'll take me to it." Now that's contentment!

For me, lately, it's all about babies again. I love babies. I love kids (most of 'em anyway). Everyone around me is having a baby, or trying to, and this will never be my reality. I've been invited to a gazillion showers but thankfully, I have had conflicting plans during most of them and haven't been obligated to go. It's not that I don't want to -- truly, I usually do want to go because I am happy for the mom and of course, not much is better than having the privilege of holding a newborn close and tight. It's amazing.

But, all that said, I would rather poke my ears with a fork than listen to a bunch of women talk about the wonderful experiences associated with pregnancy, with hearing the baby cry for the first time, and on, and on, and on. I certainly don't expect people to walk on egg shells around me -they are deservedly happy. But there will always be that one callous woman who says things like "well, not that you would know, but..." or "how horrible you will never experience this for yourself." Really, is all that necessary? Can we not just celebrate the new life, a gift from God, without making others in the room feel like useless, worthless human beings?

In my circle I have great opportunity to influence kids and sometimes in ways their parents never can. I love that. It truly does take a village to raise a child. My sister recognized that early on and brought us all in. But at the end of a day of influencing, hugging, cheering on, and encouraging, they go home to their parents and I go home to my empty house. Frequently I am beyond happy about that -- and relieved for the peace and quiet! I also know that Steve and I could not do the ministry we're called to do right now if we had little ones needing attention. But then there are those times when it rips my heart out and sends me to God in sobs. Or, worse yet, catapults me far from God, also in sobs. Those are the moments I need to be most aware and on guard but am not. That puts a big bulls eye on my back. I'm standing there waving a red flag and Satan is the bull.

So, if I know that's going to happen, why don't I take precautions? Simply put, I don't know why. Glutton for punishment? Stupid? Yeah, probably a combination of all that.