Not Quite 40 Years

Yesterday I called my mom bright and early -- for a Saturday anyway -- at 8:30 to tell her "Happy Anniversary!" Or half an anniversary anyway. May 17th would have been my mom & dad's 40th anniversary. That is so hard for me to fathom. Harder still is the fact that this year would have marked 43 years of employment at the same place for my dad. Why bring that up if it didn't happen? Well, in an age of spouse hopping, job hopping, and every other kind of hopping, this kind of loyalty is rare and precious. Strangely enough, we talked about loyalty in Sunday School this morning.

My dad passed away just 1 month shy of their 38th anniversary and knowing what my mere almost-20-years of marriage has brought, I can be assured that my parents experienced all the same types of things...and stuck it out together. No, they didn't deal with the exact things Steve and I have, but they dealt with plenty of their own stuff.

Watching how my parents treated each other caused me to know what kind of marriage I wanted. Never once in my entire life did I hear my dad say something foul or rude to my mom - and vice versa. There was never name calling, screaming, ranting and raving, door slamming. Nope, we didn't grow up with any of that. And I'm so utterly grateful. As a matter of fact when I see that kind of behavior, I am unbelievably uncomfortable and often queasy. I hate it.

The other thing they always did is stick together. We were unable to divide my parents. Even if they disagreed on something, we never knew. They hashed it out between them and stood united. One time I had asked my mom for permission to do something and she said no. Convinced I could out-smart her, I went to the garage and casually asked my dad the same thing. His response was, "well, the answer to that depends on what your mother said when you asked her." WHAT? How did he know? Fatherly intuition. Nice try, Julie, but no go. I promised myself I would use that same technique with my own kinds but God never gave us the privilege of having any.

I could never have lasted in a marriage had I not had such great examples in my parents. But I can see how those who had a far less grand example would struggle in maintaining the most difficult of human relationships. It's no wonder people hop in and out of marriage. But for the grace of God go I.