This week I'm reeling from the effects of some mean church people we've encountered over the past several days. I am mystified and confused as to why this happens. Mostly I'm horrified that people in the church can be so purposefully mean to and about their pastor and/or his wife.
I don't even know if I can adequately explain it either. I think it's something you have to experience. I was friends with a pastor's wife long before I became one and while she told me things that had happened, I guess I didn't really believe it. Not that I didn't believe her--I absolutely knew she was being truthful. But I just couldn't wrap my mind around it fully enough to know it as truth. I know, clear as mud.
People want their pastors to both succeed and fail. Frequently they try to set them up for failure. Others want their own way and if they don't get it, they fully intend to make the pastor suffer for it--at least if they can get away with it.
I've cried not only because my feelings have been really hurt but also because they just don't get it. Their tunnel vision has caused them to miss the opportunities they have to serve others, to share Christ, and to love people. They are so preoccupied with themselves that they have forgotten what the purpose of the church is.
And then tonight some friends had us over for dinner. They know us so well. They've seen our warts (proverbial of course!). Yet they love us. They so encouraged us to keep going. And they've committed to walking beside us, both figuratively and literally, as we make our way through this maze of heartache.
It's people like them that keeps a pastor going. I challenge you today to be one of these people. Give your pastor (and his wife) the benefit of the doubt, seek them out if you have a question or even a complaint. Don't be one of those anonymous complainers, whiners, or gossip mongers whose apparent purpose is to squash the Holy Spirit. Come alongside them, encourage them, lift them up in prayer, and hold them accountable when necessary and if you have the relationship with them to do it.
Just love them to pieces. Esteem them.
3 comments:
I can feel the pain in your comments! I am a minister in Kansas and my wife has experienced emotions similar to what you are describing.
Yesterday I posted a blog about "Enemies." It is about why people act mean and how we can respond to them. It is at http://warrenbaldwinbiblefountain.blogspot.com/2009/03/enemy.html
I hope it is helpful. And don't give up ministry b/c some peole are mean! It took me a long time to realize that they may be the very people God has called us to minister to!
God bless!
Warren
P.S. I have another blog specifically about family at
www.warrenbaldwin.blogspot.com
Please check it out.
Is your husband still in Iraq?
Warren - thanks for your encouragement. I hopped over to your blog and will read it fully when I get home tonight as I've got to get out the door for an appointment. In my brief skimming, however, I believe it will be extremely valuable to me.
Steve's been home since June 2006 and it's actually out of the deserts of Iraq where God called him to ministry...about 150 miles from where he called Abraham!
Can can call people from the most unlikely of places!
I just posted this one on the Family Fountain site:
http://warrenbaldwin.blogspot.com/2009/03/answering-harshness-with-kindness.html
Post a Comment