Overcoming Meanness Follow Up

Last night as I began to drift off to sleep the tears streamed down my cheeks. Steve reached over, grabbed my hand, and said, "It's alright, dear, I can handle it." In a barely audible whisper I replied, "I know, but I can't." And for a few moments before my exhaustion turned to sleep, I sobbed into my pillow.

This morning as I worked through my Bible study lesson I played that over and over in my head. God prepared Steve for years for such a time as this (keep in mind my current study is on Esther). People were really mean, rude, and offensive to him when he was a deputy. Most of them were on the other side of the law so it was likely a natural reaction but certainly not all of them. Many things he's shielded me from because there is no point in me knowing and the things I do know are bad enough. Likewise, as a Marine he encountered his share of bad PR and I'll never forget the words said to me when he was in Iraq. They were horrible...untrue and simply horrible. Not even worth repeating.

He's used to how mean people can be and he is more than capable of standing up under it. Yet that doesn't mean he's not affected. Over lunch yesterday he said "I can totally see why there is such a high mortality rate among pastors." Mortality not meaning death in the physical sense but as in death to their church / leaving their church.

Oh, he'll persevere. He's got a great leader in our senior pastor. But more than that, he's got THE great avenger, defender, and deliverer. In due time God will drop them to their knees. In the meantime (no pun intended) God is strengthening us and building character.

One of my final thoughts as I drifted off to sleep was, "I don't deserve this man next to me. They certainly don't deserve him either." But I do have him and so do they. And then it hit me...the very essence of grace.