Identity Crisis

A couple of days ago I asked for input on how you identify yourself. The reason is because I had a theory and I think I've now proven it.

Almost everyone who responded or who I've spoken with defined themselves in the following manner: based on vocation, marital status, parental status, education, etc. A particularly verbose friend sent a lengthy email explaining that how she answers that is based on a variety of factors -- who is asking and why, the relationship with the person asking, the environment (public v private), and who is around at the time. I found that response particularly intriguing.

So my theory is that we identify ourselves based on what we do, where we work, whether or not we're married, and so on. The problem with this is what happens to us when one of those things changes. What if you lose your job? What if you end up widowed or divorced? What happens when your children leave home, rebel, or don't turn out as expected? The end result is an identity crisis. I speak of this with extensive experience.

When my last job, my dream career ended, I began to lose sight of who I was. My heart and brain were tied up in that job. I loved it. It defined me. Two months later my dad died and I was no longer Lyle's daughter. Obviously I still am his daughter but it changes dramatically at death. I can't explain it, one must experience it. Family relationships define me too. I have found myself in an identity crisis that never seems to fade. Or if it is fading, it's so slow I can scarcely recognize it.

While these losses are paramount, the bigger reason I have lost sight of my identity is because I misplaced it. As a believer I had no business wrapping who I was in my job or any individual. My identity is in Christ, or should be. If properly placed, nothing can take away our identity. Circumstances can change, people can come in and out of our lives, yet through it all we can remain firm in who we are.

I suppose the first step is understanding where I went wrong, listening to what God has been trying to tell me. The second step is the difficult one - redefining myself in Christ, dying to myself every day. This will be an interesting season.