Tuesday I not only had a more-frequent-than-I'd-like face episode but I started to recognize the pain in my lip that was strikingly similar to December 2007. Rather than doing what I intended Tuesday afternoon I went home and took a nap. Sure enough, when I awoke, my lip was about twice its normal size. Shoot. Here we go again. Wednesday morning it looked almost exactly the same as the previous time just not quite as big.
I called the doctor who fixed me up only to discover his office was closed for vacation. He told me at my last follow up that this would likely happen again and I guess he was right. He wanted me to be sure and come in if (when) it did. Shoot again. I called my regular doctor only to discover he had just returned from vacation and was overbooked. They could see me next week. Seriously? Next week? What about a patient in urgent need of care? At this point I'm beyond "shoot" and can just say "dung." So I went to same day care which is generally alright but for this I really didn't want to but having no other option, I went. The doctor was a nice guy and very knowledgeable but not having seen me before, he just didn't really understand. I get that.
I'm now on 3 different prescriptions and there is little improvement. Tomorrow morning I go to the specialist who is now back from vacation. I shudder to think he might tell me he needs to do the same surgery he did before--actually, I can't really bear the thought but that's a worry for tomorrow, not tonight.
Mostly today during my awake hours (and there hasn't been many of them) I've been confused and dismayed. There is no spiritual enlightment for me this time; there are no insights. Just plain, simple confusion. Why me...AGAIN? Why now? What is the purpose? Surely there is one but I just don't see it. I am unbelievably disheartened by all this and tired of the whole thing. When do I get a stinkin' break?
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