Not Primarily Concerned With My Happiness

"My husband is not concerned with my happiness." I love saying that. It generally draws a laugh or at the very least, raises the eyebrows. Being the jokester I am, getting a laugh is frosting on the cake! Whenever I say it and the laughter subsides, Steve always says "I think that deserves an explanation, don't you?"

Truth be told, the more accurate rendition is this: my husband is not primarily concerned with my happiness. He would like for me to be happy but he is far more concerned with what is best for me and that I find joy and contentment in that. Happiness is circumstantial and we can't always be happy about everything but we can persevere and have joy in the midst of it.

Think about it this way....good parents don't give their children everything to make them happy. Even if a child gets everything they want, it will last for a moment, they are no longer happy, and they want the next thing that they they think will make them happy. This creates a cavernous hole that has to be filled with more and more stuff to satisfy. It becomes an addiction.

Steve makes decisions that I am not always thrilled with and a not-so-uncommon conversation in our house is this:

J: I'm really not so happy about that. As a matter of fact, I don't like it at all.

S: Sorry to hear that. But it's what is best and this is what we need to do.

And so we do it. Not that I don't have input but I almost always react out of an emotion whereas Steve simply does not. He assesses the situation and makes sound, solid, Godly decisions.

This is not that different than how God relates to his children. He is not primarily concerned with our happiness either but with what is best for us. Sometimes we get to be happy in the midst and sometimes not so much. I don't believe for a second that the apostles were happy about their persecution--their imprisonment, beatings, stonings--yet repeatedly we read in Acts that "they were filled with joy." Do you think Job was happy in his suffering? No, but in the end he praised God out of it. Was David happy when his child died? He was not. He mourned, he wept, he pleaded with God. And when it was over he got himself together and praised God, much to the dismay and confusion of those around him. Was Joseph happy when he was thrown in jail or falsely imprisoned? Hardly but he trusted that God had a plan and he did not lose hope.

God sees the big picture and we do not.

So, the bottom line is this.....Steve (you could insert God in here too) is not primarily concerned with my happiness and I'm cool with that. Finally. It's been an exhausting journey to be on but alas, I have made it. All in one piece too.