An Amazing Amount of Faith

When I grow up I want to have as much faith as my husband. He's completely unwavering in his dedication to and the growth of his faith. Even when things don't turn out the way he prays they will, he still stands strong and firm in what he knows to be truth. Amazing isn't even a big enough word to describe it.

Several months ago we really felt like I was supposed to quit my second job. Steve simply said "do it." Me? Not so much. The number cruncher I am, I put a pen and paper to it. "Nope," I declared, "it doesn't work. Can't do it." I continued to work a couple more months. Things got tougher and again I knew I should quit. With Steve's assuring nod of approval I did so. I knew at the time we would be short every single month but Steve was so confident I really believed too. I began to keep a journal of God's faithfulness so I would know exactly how God provided. It's been staggering to reflect on.

Before I tell you what those entries total, I'll share a perfect example. In October it was decided we would spend New Year's with Steve's family, courtesy of free airfare provided by one of the brother's frequent flyer miles. Provision #1. My next question was, "well, what are we going to do about money once we get there?" We had a place to stay and transportation but what about meals and activities? Steve told me he would handle it. This was so hard for me because I'm the money person in the house and I already knew there was no possible way we could make it happen. As a matter of fact we didn't even have a Christmas budget and now he thinks we can add this too? Sure. You'd think after having an amazing vacation handed to us that will take place in January I'd not waver. If only I weren't such a doofus. Sadly, I am.

A couple weeks after his declaration that he'd handle it I asked Steve how his plan was going. His reply was "it's going." Another week went by and I asked again. Same answer. I couldn't stand it. I asked, "do you even really have a plan?" "Yep," he said. "Okay, what is it?" I asked. With much conviction he said, "I'm praying for it." Now, the story would be great if I told you I was sure and gung-ho about the results but I seriously was not. S-K-E-P-T-I-C-A-L best describes my outlook. I continued to check in periodically growing increasingly skeptical as time flew by. Finally I said "you know, we leave in 2 weeks." He said he knew that and it wasn't time to get on the plane so by his calculations, God still had time to provide.

Want to know what happened next? Between December 15th and 24th we received not only enough money while we're in NH but we have also received our spending money for our cruise, money for new tires, our shortage for the month, and a little to hang on to for our next need. Ironically, Steve's computer died last week so maybe that's what the extra was for and God just knew it would happen before it did so He gave that in advance.

My outlook is now S-H-O-C-K. I absolutely should not be shocked. We work for and serve the God who owns it all. To him, this money is a mere drop in the bucket. It's huge for us but it's almost as if He's saying "really, that's all you needed? No problem." He completely wowed me but I think it's more the result of Steve's never ending faith and belief that God can and will answer his prayers. Not just for our true needs like housing, food, clothes, etc. but also for the desires of his heart....sometimes.....even if his wife hasn't arrived yet.

Since I quit my second job, God has given us double what I would have made had I continued to work at Coke. I don't think He would have done this had I not quit because it was a matter of obedience. My desire for 2010 is that I would strive to believe God, not just believe in God. Those two things are very different. I'm long over New Year's resolutions and the up and down of failing to attain things that are so superficial it's ridiculous. But this one God will honor because it's a matter of His heart--and mine.

Merry Christmas!

All In The Pursuit of Beauty

Last night I caught about 10 minutes of some show that was highlighting an online business selling something like botox. The site further had videos showing exactly how and where to inject the stuff. This site was not owned or run by doctors yet woman after woman purchased from this site to look younger and feel better about themselves.

They were trying to save a few bucks. The end result was an absolute disaster. Most of these women have since spent thousands of dollars trying to fix what they did to themselves. One woman actually said "I have no one to blame but myself." At least she realizes it. One of the doctors who is working on her now said that even though he's done thousands of these procedures, he would never perform one on himself. It's simply too dangerous. He said the product, if injected in the wrong place, could cause blindness, nerve damage, irreparable scarring.

One woman in Korea who was a former model injected vegetable oil in her face. The end result was a completely disfigured face. She'll never model again to be sure.

All of this for the pursuit of beauty....a fleeting beauty no less. Vanity is perhaps closer to the truth. When Steve came upstairs I was telling him about it and we had what I consider a fairly interesting conversation. In the end we concluded that this is sinful behavior. Now, if a person has reconstruction or plastic surgery as the result of cancer, an accident, combat or the like, that makes total sense. It's not a matter of vain pursuit of beauty. But to remove a wrinkle due to laugh lines or simple aging is the sign of someone trying to find their worth and value in their physical appearance. This is wrong.

I've been thinking about this all day. I totally believe in taking care of oneself and doing what we can but to think we can stop the aging process or become more valuable with surgery is going down a road with dangerous consequences. Not to mention it won't work long term.

These women tried to remove small wrinkles. To them they were huge. Now they have huge scars, have spent thousands of dollars and in the end their small wrinkle is no longer the problem. Every one of them said they now think they look hideous. One wouldn't show her face on camera. The very thing they tried to attain eludes them still.

This is one of the reasons I think it's so important to learn where to find our value. It's why I'm passionate about it. It isn't in what we do, who we marry or give birth to, or what we look like. It's who we are in Christ. That's the only thing that will increase our beauty as the wrinkles come. It will cause us to give of ourselves in service to others, to love others and make an impact for eternity.

This is one message I'll share until the day I die--not only for the reasons stated above but also because I've struggled more often than not with staying grounded with this. It's so easy to get caught up and before I know it, that stronghold is back. I must be on guard against it at all times. We all must. And more importantly, we must teach the next generation the truth.

It's Hard Not To Be Jaded....

In spite of the horrible things we see on the news every day, I try very hard not to be jaded. I have no delusions that people are basically good. They are not. If so, we wouldn't need law enforcement and the military. Those are just examples and that's not really the point of my post anyway.

Tonight I ran to Office Max for some printer supplies and then decided to go ahead and run to the post office. As I pulled into the parking lot I surveyed my surroundings because it's kind of tucked in the background and the offices around it are virtually deserted by 6:30 pm. I noticed there was one other truck in the parking lot but it had a temporary tag on it so I couldn't even get a snapshot in my head of what the # would be just in case......here's the deal, I really knew I was safe but I kind of like those mystery who-dun-it shows and after a while, that junk sticks in your brain.

So, I took just my credit card and got out of the car locking it as I went. The guy had come out of the post office and was getting in his truck. I walked in front of it but focused on my mission so didn't pay much attention to him. All of a sudden I hear him say loudly "mam!" Seriously, my heart jumped out of my chest. I swung around to see him standing on the running board of his truck and for a brief second thought about bolting to my car, jumping in, and getting out of there. As quickly as the thought was there, it was gone and I regained my sensibilities that if he were really trying to hurt me, he probably wouldn't call me "mam" or actually call out at all. He'd just jump me.

I replied "yes?" and he said "do you know where I can get some stamps?" Okay, now I was REALLY freaked out. We were in the parking lot of the post office! I pointed to the door and said, "um, yeah, in there. They have an automated postal machine that sells stamps." He went on to say he'd tried that and it wouldn't take his card. I asked him if it was out of order but he said it just didn't take his card. So, I presumed it was a money problem. I told him I thought Wal-Mart sold stamps and he said he had a really important letter to mail so he'd try that.

Now composed, I walked into the post office and as I was buying my stamps, I was all of a sudden disgusted with myself that I hadn't told him to wait a second and that I'd be right back with stamps and he could have one. Then again, I was just thrilled he didn't slit my throat. Oh well, nice thought, right?

As I walked out the door I noticed he was still there and was quite pleased that I wasn't frightened by the thought he might be waiting for me. He had his cab light on and was scouring through stacks of papers and sacks in his truck. I mused that he was probably looking for a stamp. Not wanting to scare the daylights out of him I waited in front of his truck until he looked up and then I motioned for him to roll down his window. I walked over and asked, "can I give you a stamp for your letter?" His face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?" he asked. I told him sure, it's my pleasure. He then said, "could I actually get one more?" Absolutely, why not? So I gave it to him and he started looking in various compartments in his truck while asking how much he owed me.

"Nothing. It's on me. Glad I could help." He looked up like I'd slapped him or hit him with cold water. "Free? Nothing's free!" he exclaimed. "Well," I said, "this is." He said "well, thank you! Merry Christmas. Happy Thanksgiving and all that." I waved as I walked away and said, "you're welcome. Same to you."

I got in my car fairly ashamed that my first instinct of this man was the worst possible scenario. Just like me, he only wanted some stamps. He was no serial killer, not a thug but just a guy needing to mail a letter. It's hard not to be jaded but it's also smart to be aware of my surroundings and take precautions. This thought comforted me as I went on my way.

As I got about a block away I was further ashamed that I missed an opportunity to share with him the real meaning of Christmas and that the best gift truly is free. I had a brief moment with him and I just didn't see it because I was too caught up with my initial fear and subsequent relief. That's the worst feeling ever.

A Matter of Mediocrity

This morning as I was waking up the radio was on and I listened to caller after caller give a shout out to their family members in current military service. Say what you want about country music (I love it!) but "The Breakfast Flakes" on 102.9 are patriots and activists. And just plain hilarious too.

Before long tears streamed down my face because I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for my freedoms and the sacrifice of so many to secure them. I recalled some of the fears I had not too many years ago as Steve willingly did what he felt from the bottom of his toes was his duty in the lands abroad. He told me what a great honor it would be to die for his country and the protection of freedoms and while I understood his heart, I desperately did not want to lose him.

Something the flakes said stirred up deep feelings in my soul. They commented about how one of the biggest battles we face is right here on American soil as evidenced by the recent tragedy at Fort Hood. An attack within by the erosion of our moral compass, the need to always be politically correct and a most dreaded word....tolerance. Yes, even of those who openly participate in any and every evil thing we can imagine. Those who align themselves with religions that encourage the slaughter of innocent people and Americans in particular. And to say anything causes us to be held in the highest contempt. And so we don't. We walk around with blinders on as if the freedoms so many have died for will last forever. Make no mistake, they will not.

I think of the Roman Empire and the enormity of power and greatness they once had. They crumbled from within. By the end, they were in utter chaos and complete lack of anything moral or good. Should we think we are better, smarter, or more advanced than they? Hardly! They were at the top intellectually, militarily, and (in their own mis-guided way) spiritually in their time. We, too, can and will crumble from within if those who know better don't stand up and cry "enough!" That's what drove our forefathers to this land in the first place.

Without the shedding of blood there is no remission (see Hebrews 9:22) and there is also no freedom. We didn't get the free country we have by talking about it or negotiating for it. The price was high and many were willing to pay that price so their families and the generations after them could hold fast to freedom.

Today on this Veteran's Day, let's honor those who gave their last full measure and do something. Let's not throw up our hands and think it hopeless. It is not. Let's not take our freedoms for granted and be soft or accept mediocrity. We can make a difference. Those who have died deserve no less nor do those coming behind us.

My Husband is 234 Years Old Today

So, how's that for a really catchy title? Given that, he looks superb, don't you think?

Today is the 234th birthday of the United States Marine Corps. It's a special day for anyone honored enough to have earned the title of Marine. It's not something you do or something you did once, it's who you are. Once a Marine, always a Marine.

No other branch like it. Unique in all the world and they are a lean, clean running machine. This applies to them personally as well but I was referring to the Corps in its entirety. Small budget but biggest bang for the buck. Designed to be highly mobile and able to be anywhere they need to be in the shortest amount of time. Congress has long been a friend to the Marine Corps, protecting them as various presidents tried to do away with them....didn't know that, did you?

Okay, so I'll probably be accused of being biased and/or partial but this blood runs Marine green. Happy Birthday not only to my Major but to all Marines everywhere!

Against All Odds, It's A Go

Anyone who has spent maybe 15 minutes with me knows how much I love to go on vacation to new places and see things never captured with these greenies. I actually believe I NEED to do this. Intellectually I can tell myself that's not true but I can't seem to make myself believe it.

Our last vacation was March 2008 when we took "the girl" (also known as our beautiful niece Erica) to New York City for her 18th birthday / graduation gift. We do seriously call her "the girl"--well, mostly Steve because I call her Reeks. Anyway, I knew after that trip nothing would be in sight for quite some time and as this year rolled on, I began to despair at the thought of never having another vacation in my lifetime. Yes, I am also overly dramatic, just ask Steve.

We are making it every month and God is blessing us huge even though we make 50% of what we made in 2007. There just isn't a vacation fund anymore. A few weeks ago we were invited to go with some friends on a cruise for a remarkable price of $299 each. My heart began to pound, my palms got sweaty (at least I think so but we were in a pool so I can't be certain). I knew we had our final frequent flier miles available and I was giddy thinking about it. I proved to Steve in black and white that we could come up with the $800 for the cruise / hotel and we could use his plasma money for excursions. Of course that would mean he would have to start donating again. He said he wanted to think about it and pray about it to see if we should really be doing something else with that money. He also told me not to bug him while he did so. It was 3 days of agony as I waited. Finally, the day came and he said "I think it'd be alright if we went."

I made a beeline for the computer to check it out. I'm pretty sure I moved so fast the flames shot out from the bottom of my shoes. I soon discovered there were no available dates for award travel within 3 weeks of the bon voyage. Shoot. Not to be deterred, I looked at airfare just to see....$500 each to fly. Steve said no, it was too much. I was seriously shattered and yes, I know it was just a vacation but the idea of time off and away was too alluring. I texted my friend and said "thanks for the invite but airfare is a deal breaker for Steve so you two go and have fun. Maybe next time." She messaged back and said she'd keep watching airfare but I knew it was done. I was dejected.

Then came Pastor Appreciation month and a most generous gift. Inside the card it said "we'd like you to do something fun and relaxing with this." We didn't want to accept it. We tried not to but they stood their ground and said it wasn't from them but from the generous God we serve. We didn't want to insult them but it's hard to be a gracious receiver of such generosity. So we humbly accepted and are honoring their request to do something fun and relaxing.

Against all human odds, the cruise is on again. It has nothing to do with human will, desire or provision. It's all about the supernatural workings of the God who is concerned with every detail of my life and wants to give me not only what I need from day to day but also many of my desires. And I'm humbled at this as well as the gift that made it possible by people who were willing to listen and be obedient when God told them to do something. Oh, their blessings are coming. Of that I am certain.