It's Hard Not To Be Jaded....

In spite of the horrible things we see on the news every day, I try very hard not to be jaded. I have no delusions that people are basically good. They are not. If so, we wouldn't need law enforcement and the military. Those are just examples and that's not really the point of my post anyway.

Tonight I ran to Office Max for some printer supplies and then decided to go ahead and run to the post office. As I pulled into the parking lot I surveyed my surroundings because it's kind of tucked in the background and the offices around it are virtually deserted by 6:30 pm. I noticed there was one other truck in the parking lot but it had a temporary tag on it so I couldn't even get a snapshot in my head of what the # would be just in case......here's the deal, I really knew I was safe but I kind of like those mystery who-dun-it shows and after a while, that junk sticks in your brain.

So, I took just my credit card and got out of the car locking it as I went. The guy had come out of the post office and was getting in his truck. I walked in front of it but focused on my mission so didn't pay much attention to him. All of a sudden I hear him say loudly "mam!" Seriously, my heart jumped out of my chest. I swung around to see him standing on the running board of his truck and for a brief second thought about bolting to my car, jumping in, and getting out of there. As quickly as the thought was there, it was gone and I regained my sensibilities that if he were really trying to hurt me, he probably wouldn't call me "mam" or actually call out at all. He'd just jump me.

I replied "yes?" and he said "do you know where I can get some stamps?" Okay, now I was REALLY freaked out. We were in the parking lot of the post office! I pointed to the door and said, "um, yeah, in there. They have an automated postal machine that sells stamps." He went on to say he'd tried that and it wouldn't take his card. I asked him if it was out of order but he said it just didn't take his card. So, I presumed it was a money problem. I told him I thought Wal-Mart sold stamps and he said he had a really important letter to mail so he'd try that.

Now composed, I walked into the post office and as I was buying my stamps, I was all of a sudden disgusted with myself that I hadn't told him to wait a second and that I'd be right back with stamps and he could have one. Then again, I was just thrilled he didn't slit my throat. Oh well, nice thought, right?

As I walked out the door I noticed he was still there and was quite pleased that I wasn't frightened by the thought he might be waiting for me. He had his cab light on and was scouring through stacks of papers and sacks in his truck. I mused that he was probably looking for a stamp. Not wanting to scare the daylights out of him I waited in front of his truck until he looked up and then I motioned for him to roll down his window. I walked over and asked, "can I give you a stamp for your letter?" His face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really?" he asked. I told him sure, it's my pleasure. He then said, "could I actually get one more?" Absolutely, why not? So I gave it to him and he started looking in various compartments in his truck while asking how much he owed me.

"Nothing. It's on me. Glad I could help." He looked up like I'd slapped him or hit him with cold water. "Free? Nothing's free!" he exclaimed. "Well," I said, "this is." He said "well, thank you! Merry Christmas. Happy Thanksgiving and all that." I waved as I walked away and said, "you're welcome. Same to you."

I got in my car fairly ashamed that my first instinct of this man was the worst possible scenario. Just like me, he only wanted some stamps. He was no serial killer, not a thug but just a guy needing to mail a letter. It's hard not to be jaded but it's also smart to be aware of my surroundings and take precautions. This thought comforted me as I went on my way.

As I got about a block away I was further ashamed that I missed an opportunity to share with him the real meaning of Christmas and that the best gift truly is free. I had a brief moment with him and I just didn't see it because I was too caught up with my initial fear and subsequent relief. That's the worst feeling ever.