In the past 5 or 6 weeks I was so encouraged and delighted by the same compliment from two different people.
It is really important to me that people feel comfortable in my home. I try really hard to make that happen. The biggest problem I have is that I set pretty high standards for myself so I constantly fret over whether my house is clean enough for others to feel comfortable in. Add to that the great difficulty I now have in keeping my house as clean as I would like and it's almost a recipe for disaster. I've begun to learn those are my quirks and most people don't hold me to such high standards, particularly not when gauging how comfortable they feel in my home, or anyone else's for that matter.
I want people to feel free to help themselves if they are thirsty or hungry. Not only does it let me off the hook to remember to ask and then wait on them hand and foot, it also allows them the freedom to choose and get what they want. So, we grant everyone "refrigerator rights" in our home. This is one of the greatest things I learned from my parents. Seriously, my mom fed anyone and everyone who was hungry or who walked through the door. My brothers always had stragglers with them at dinner time. They never once worried about the cost. They shared and there was always more than enough. I love that.
The most frequently asked question when people visit for the first time or two is, "do you want me to take my shoes off?" or "do I have to take my shoes off?" My answer is always the same...whatever makes them most comfortable is fine with me. Take them off, leave them on, it really makes no difference. I operate under the premise that people are smart enough to know when their shoes are dirty or muddy and will remove them accordingly. If not, the carpet gets a bit dirty and I clean it up. But they have their dignity. For some people, removing their shoes makes them extremely self-conscious. I don't necessarily understand that but having been told that, I know it's true. I've gone to visit people and as soon as the door is opened, they blurt out "take off your shoes!" I find this rude and offensive. It makes me want to turn around, get back in my car and drive away. I no longer want to visit them. I would so much rather hear a "hey, it's good to see you!" First of all, I am smart enough to know my shoes are dirty. Don't insult my intelligence. Second, how about caring more about people than stuff? In 20 years, what matters most - the precious, immaculate carpet or the fact that someone felt loved and welcome in your home? I choose the latter. Always.
So, when these 2 women, separately and days apart, told me they felt welcome in my home, I couldn't have been happier. On of them specifically said "thanks for making me feel like it was okay to leave my shoes on. I knew you were sincere and I felt no pressure to take them off, even though others had." For whatever reason, she felt more comfortable in her shoes than out of them and that's alright by me.
I was struck by the thought that how I treat people when they visit my home can really minister to them. Or it can turn them off. I want people to know that I will always choose to meet their need instead of caring about something getting dirty or ruined. Granted, I expect people to respect my belongings but accidents happen and it isn't the end of the world. I also want to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to me but I don't want it to become more important than the people He sends my way.
And so I will always strive to be welcoming, not so I can wear a badge of honor, but because I want to honor God in everything he has given me, including my house. From the way we ended up in this house, to the price we paid, to the location, there is no doubt God purposed for us to use it for ministry. And the center of all ministry is people, not carpet or furniture or a showplace where nobody feels comfortable. Including me.
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