Saturday, March 27, 2010

I'm a Big Girl, I'm a Big Girl...

The most recent study I'm going through is "Big Girls Don't Whine" by Jan Silvious. Part of what I've challenged the ladies to do is pay attention to those times when they are tempted to be "little girls" in any given situation.

For anyone not familiar with this book, it's about identifying those habits and behaviors where we act like little girls who just want their way, can't think outside of themselves, and think the world revolves around them. In contrast, big girls take responsibility for themselves and any given situation, think of others before themselves, don't blame their feelings on others, etc. You get the point?

So, the last couple of weeks I've been keenly aware of a few situations that cause me to want to throw a big fit because things aren't going my way. Today was a classic example.

We went to Lowe's with Erica because she wanted to buy some doors and hardware for her bedroom. After we checked out, I thought the total seemed pretty high so we pulled out the receipt to take a peek. Well, the total was correct but we discovered that one of the 9 hinges she bought was different than the others. Okay, no big deal, it happens sometimes. Things get put in the wrong bin.

We walked into the store and went to get a correct one so when we got to the front of the return / exchange line we could take care of the entire transaction. We stood in line for 4-5 minutes while the people in front of us got A-1 treatment. Then it was our turn. By this time 2 or 3 others were in line behind us. We explained what had happened and she returned the wrong one but then asked if we wanted cash or a credit to the debit card. Well, they were the same price so it should have been a wash but Erica told her to just do it on the debit card. She then handed us the new one and said "you'll have to go and check out in the lanes over there because there is a line behind you and I just don't have time to do it." Then she said something about it's not up to her, it's just the way it is. Yeah right.

REALLY? Are you stinkin' kidding me? We were in the return / EXCHANGE line. How difficult would it have been for her to scan the new one, get a total of zero and out we go? Instead, she did a complete return, printed a receipt for Erica to sign and then sent us on our way. All of this for $2.58. I was furious. I was so tempted to tell her to go get her manager and then all of those people would have had to wait longer. It is so not their policy, I can almost guarantee it because I've done exchanges there too many times to count.

She simply didn't want to do it. And I was annoyed. Erica was annoyed. My little girl was screaming to get out and pitch a fit. I fought hard although I think I could have stood firm and still had big girl behavior. I let her control the nonsense situation when I should have done it.

This whole big girl / little girl thing is a tough one. I see it in women around me every day. I'm a huge proponent of this book and recommend it to every woman I know. I've come to believe the biggest problem for most adult women is that they act like little girls in their relationships, their jobs and their behavior. It is not becoming, not even a little bit.

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