Sincerely Sorry

Earlier this week I had an almost conflict with my aunt. Almost? What the heck is that...well, let me explain. We're both on Facebook and one of the downsides of electronic communications and sharing is that it's hard to know a tone or expression in any particular statement. I think it's a generational thing because while I understand this, she really does not. I should have thought the whole process through first but in my little world, Facebook is just a light and fun little thing to do. I'm frequently a jokester on it. Obviously she had no way of knowing that.

So, she posted what was on her mind and truly, it was very sweet. An attempt to honor and bless her kids. What she was saying was also on target scripturally which is very important to her (and me). I responded to it, not in a belittling or rude way, but with a hint of humor. She didn't take it that way and responded back. Then me. Then her. By this time I realized something was a little off kilter and decided I'd better call her right away. In the meantime my cousin (her daughter) sent me a message kind of like this:

"Hey Jules, I don't mean to butt in but I need to tell you that I don't think mom understands you were being funny. I do and I tried to explain it to her but I just wanted you to know."

The first thing I picked up from that message is that my aunt was upset enough about it to call and talk to her daughter. I immediately called my cousin to let her know I appreciated her "butting in" and would be alarmed if she saw a train wreck coming and did nothing about it. I think it's a generational sin to be easily offended and S-L-O-W to forgive (if at all). I let her know I had already planned to call her momma and she was so relieved.

I finally got a hold of auntie and first explained how I view Facebook. Then I said this:

"You tried to honor and bless your children and my comment to your post was inappropriate. I never meant to hurt you but clearly I did. I'm asking you to forgive me."

She began to cry and my heart just broke. She said:

"Thank you for saying that." I just waited a minute on the phone and finally she said "maybe I just shouldn't do this Facebook thing. I guess I don't understand it."

I asked her not to stop on account of my insensitivity and walked her through how to remove the comments which she promptly did when we hung up. The thing is we're not only related but we're sisters in Christ too and this could have been a way for satan to effectually destroy two witnesses.

The lesson in all this for me is that I need to think through what I post and whether the person is ready for something like that and also to just STOP for a minute! What I am so grateful for is the progress God and I have had on this. Not too many years ago I would have just told myself that she need not be so easily offended and she'd just have to get over it. I never would have initiated a call and apologize for it? Hardly! As I said, it's something many of us struggle with but for me, I need to break the cycle in my life.

All in all, it's good stuff.